Forced Relationships.....

[Richo]

You know that feeling you get when you're watching a really terrible movie (mall cop, love guru etc) and everyone else but you seems to find it hilarious? That's the feeling I get the majority of the time I hang around with team mates from various sports. It dosn't mean I don't like them because I find people to be interesting no matter what they're into. I can usually target a common ground with someone and get them to relate to me. I even break barriers with people and talk about things like cars, which I have no interest in at all. For this reason a lot of people like my company and I get treated very well, but there's always those people that don't like me.

I was having a few drinks with some of the guys I play footy with. I was having a smoke out the back and pulling off these really tacky bullets on my belt.I liked the belt but it needed to be altered to not look so homo. They guys started pointing out that I was fashion concious and that it was funny how I was in my work gear, and that I still managed to colour co-ordinate myself without trying. I have to admit I got a real kick out of it, because they got really into it and were asking me questions and advice. I felt like they had broken some prejudice against some of the things I enjoy in life.

Then one of the guys that dosn't seem to like me, came out the back and just said I was fuckin weird. Gay, nerd, freak blah blah blah.

I said nothing about it and pretended I didn't care but I guess I was a little bit hurt. I feel like this sometimes when people don't relate to me, and that's about 90% of the time. But when I got back to my girlfriend's and was talking about my belt with her, I started thinking about things in a different way. I came up with one of those "should have said it but didn't" things.

As much as I like to say people are interesting, often they really arn't. When I was growing up I didn't bother to go out and make friends because I found books more interesting. Eventually I did, and met some good people along the way. But it was very hard to go through life feeling like a minority.

When I met my girlfriend for the first time everything seemed to change for me. I did have silly little crushes on girls in the past, and often that was trying to find the good things in them, and developing an attraction. But I never thought I would meet someone I would want to spend the rest of my life with. I love everything about her just the way she is, it's almost like I found my equal. When I look at her or do anything I like to do with her, I become so much more proud of myself. This is the most amazing girl I think that anyone could want, and the fact that she likes ME is just incredible.

The guy who insulted me has a girlfriend. A girl who is just like the 23 other girlfriends of the footy players. All the guys that have girlfriends are always in the changerooms talking about shows like 'The Hills' or 'Gossip Girl'. Complaining that they have to watch it with them and blah blah blah. What a shit relationship. I can't believe that I'm the weird one, when I have a girl that is not only more physically attractive, but actually lets me do the things I LIKE in life because she likes them too.

If I start talking about Star Trek in front of these guys, they completely switch off and don't bother to listen. If someone brings up Gossip Girl they all get involved because they think knowing about it has some sort of importance. It's as if Gossip Girl is the key to getting sex every night off some girl they don't even relate to.

So I guess that's my way of coping with self doubt when I'm forced to talk to people that arn't like me at all. What's yours?

[Ray]

I just keep contact to a minimum and don't talk to them --well, maybe small talk if it's required, but as little as possible. To do otherwise is to open yourself up for more conflict and abuse.

Some people are just natural jerks and they can't help it and very often don't even know that they ARE jerks. They're just that way and will never really change.

The only thing you can do (in my opinion) is recognize them for what they are and avoid them.

[blackdog4444]

Well... I'd gather my cousins [of about the same age] and say this to his face

What's your problem, eh?
YOU WANT A PROBLEM? I'LL GIVE YAH A PROBLEM!

[Earl]

Richo, considering the close relationship you have with your girlfriend and the kind of woman she is, I'd say that you're better off than your teammates. Much better off, actually. The two of you should get married. As far as someone thinking you're weird, don't let that get to you. This guy you mentioned sounds petty. People who are small-minded lose in the long run. By being small-minded, they cut themselves off from other people. That's no one's fault but their own. It's their loss, not yours. You sound like an individual who thinks for himself. Independent thinking disturbs some people. There's no reason why you should have any self-doubt. Whenever you're forced to talk to someone who doesn't seem to be like you, you could try bringing up different subjects in case that person has something in common with you, after all, that you're not aware of. I also like what Ray said: Some people are jerks, but don't even realize it.