I Hate Sports Club Letters, 2002

3 Jan 02

After browsing your site I have come to the conclusion that your motivation comes from the fact that you're left out of sports conversations because you don't know anything about sports. I'll let you in on a secret. You need not feel left out if you don't understand sports. The secret is, after making a remark about sports, DON'T BACK DOWN no matter what the other fellows say! That's the key: ignorance and obnoxiousness. When they see you're just another ass just like them, you'll be in! It works for me!

Darkside

6 Jan 02

Great site! I agree 100 percent. It's time we recognized TRUE heros like scientists and scholars and even waitresses and forget these muscle-headed losers.

(unsigned)

7 Jan 02

If I had a dollar for everytime I HEARD a loudmouth jerk loudly bellow his opinion on pro-sports, I'd be a rich son-of-a-bitch.

- Cruly

11 Jan 02

What I hate most about sports fans is their inability to understand that not everyone is a sports fan! If they confront you and spout off some non-sonse about the latest game and you try to explain that you don't know what the hell they're talking about, they look at you as if you might be an alien just dropped on the planet! I don't expect everyone to have an interest in MY hobbies. Why should THEY??

(unsigned)

15 Jan 02

Oh, thank the Lord, I am not alone in my confusion over sports. I first became aware that I was different from everyone else in the 8th grade. During a high school health class many years ago (conducted by the gym coach, of course), we were being given an oral test: the coach asked questions related to health issues, and we wrote down the answers. For the last question, the coach said,

"I'm going to give you a freebie. The last question is...

"Who won the Superbowl?"

Everyone else in the small room cheered for the (to them) obvious giveaway and I didn't have the slightest idea of what the answer was. That's when I became aware I was different. And in the decades since, I haven't changed. I've never been able to develop an interest in any kind of sport. And I'm not sorry. I've found that the type of people swept up in the common hysteria are the followers of the world, the people who blindly follow because they're too afraid to even ask why and risk ridicule. To all the young, awkward, embarrassed non-sports enthusiasts: don't waste your time trying to figure out what's wrong with you. There's NOTHING wrong! DON'T BE EMBARRASSED by your intelligence. It's THEM who are ignorant. It's something that you're just going to have to get used to and live with.

Ray

16 Feb 02

Why are sports even a REQUIREMENT at school?? If school is a place dedicated to learning, what place does FOOTBALL have there? Why do high schools have football teams? It's like an unwritten RULE! "Thou shalt have thine football team and keepeth it in order as thy house."

How did this happen? From what murky circumstances in dim history did this unhappy custom spring? How has it become such an accepted fixture that no one even thinks to question it? I hate FOOTBALL and all the losers who must prove themselves on the "field of glory" and all the loser girls who feel incomplete unless attached to one of these losers. Sports Suck!

MiKe

17 Feb 02

A football coach walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this.

What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "4?"

"Did you say 4!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"

27 Feb 02

Nice site. You're on the right track! You know why I don't like playing sports like softball or football? Because these games are like magnets for every jerk in the organization whether they actually have any skill or not. I've played on a couple of company teams and it was always the same: some jerk(s) made the game intolerable by criticizing every missed ball or mistake. It didn't matter that I was a better player and missed less balls than them. When other people make a mistake, I encouraged them or at least didn't criticize them. But when I miss just one, the jerks have to ride me about it! Nevermind that they made more mistakes. They never notice that. That's why I don't participate in sports anymore. Jerks are rampant and make the game nothing but misery for everyone. Sports Suck!

KEN

11 Mar 02

If I see one more idiot driving around town with a set of team flags mounted on his car I'm going to PUKE! What do these morons think? That we're impressed? Or is it supposed to be an in-your-face insult to someone from an opposing team? I don't get it. To me, it looks like so many self-important, gestapo staff cars speeding around town, with nothing else in their lives to inspire them but vicarious thrills at the stadium. Sports Suck!

S. Malehorn

12 Mar 02

To S. Malehorn:

I know what you mean. Sometimes when I'm on the highway, on the outskirts of Jacksonville, I'll see dozens of cars and pick-ups, flags a'flutterin', speeding toward the city on game day. I always think that they're moron representatives racing toward a retard convention at the stadium.

Dennis P

12 May 02

were u picked last in gym growing up? are you too ignorant to understand strategy? sports are a part of life. sports teach character. go back to your 5.00/hour job at the mini mart

Myles

29 May 02

I can't thank you enough for your websites. http://moonshadow23.tripod.com/ articles/ footy.html and http://www.sportssuck.org.

You may be vaguely aware that there is something called the World Cup in the next few weeks, and guess what? I really couldn't give a shit!

Asking me what sport (especially soccer) I like is like asking a vegetarian what meat he likes. I just don't like it. It's not because I'm a snob, or an 'intellectual' or that I look down on people who like sport, it's just that I just don't CARE.

Whatever happened to tolerance of other people's views, tastes and lifestyle choices? Gays and lesbians don't have to live a lie any more, why should us sport-free people have to be in the closet? People have actually asked me 'what's wrong with you?' when I admit to not having watched a match between Knobthorpe United and Fuckworth Albion over the weekend. The World Cup, of course, will be on early in the morning in Western Europe because of the time difference. HOORAY!

I have had to make vague noises to appease the Sport Nazis, to get them off my back. Beer helps me enjoy sport in the same way as it helps ugly people get laid. If pressed, I say I like rugby, although if I lived in New Zealand where people are reduced to tears if the All Blacks don't win, I'd say I liked soccer. Watching Aussie Rules in Melbourne in 1991 was a novelty, but I think it'd wear off quickly if I actually lived there.

And of course, from the people who brought you soccer comes... cricket! Baseball for the lethargic. And then there's golf, tennis, and my least favourite, snooker. Truly a refuge of the talentless.

I'd love to start a similar movement in the UK. There's a 'Child Free' movement, so why not 'Sport Free'?

Ken

http://www.kenwestmoreland.co.uk/intcha.htm

30 June 02

This is what I think about people who like sports: Some of them came by their interest in sports honestly. They played the game, liked it, and continued to like it even after they stopped playing on a team. That's what I call honest. But I think a large percentage of men (and women) associate sports with masculinity. They may or may not like sports but feel that a "real" man likes sports. A sports fanatic is more masculine yet. So most men would rather drink a glass of Ajax than admit they don't follow football. I think it is the members of this sub-category of sports enthusiasts who are most abusive and derisive when they encounter another male who has no interest in sports. They are confused and angry that someone has the courage to stand alone. "What?? Are you GAY??" "You don't like SPORTS??" "What's wrong with you??" Then come the snickers and the whispers. I think this iron adherence to social custom with no allowance for variance is right out of the middle-ages. It was always people who chose not to follow the well worn path and who risked ridicule who made a difference: Martin Luther, Galileo, Columbus, and a thousand others like them.

Roger

11 July 02

Finally! Someone ELSE who doesn't like sports! I thought I was the only one on the planet who wasn't really interested. I thought something must be wrong with me. Now I feel better. Great site! Keep it up.

Mike

19 July 02

What kind of person likes football? Insecure men who base their manhood on their involvement with sports.

-Tommy

21 July 02

Three cheers for individuality!!

Connie

23 July 02

Hey, nice site. I agree with you. How do I join? It's time we stood up for our rights and got together on this issue. I've had it with hours and hours of air time devoted to the most BORING subject possible -SPORTS! Be it GOLF or BASKETBALL or CAR RACING, I AM NOT INTERESTED! Just think about it. WHY would I be interested in watching SOMEONE ELSE play?? Maybe if I was handicapped or something. I must be missing the SPORTS GENE.

The Great Canadian

27 August 02

If you don't like SPORTS, you don't have to WATCH THEM! Get a life BOZO!

Nate

18 September 02

For starters, let's take a quick peek at the way a sports fan writes...

12 May 02 (in the "letters" section) "were u picked last in gym growing up? are you too ignorant to understand strategy? sports are a part of life. sports teach character. go back to your 5.00/hour job at the mini mart."

Okay, this little letter is a perfect example of how "ignorant" sports fans really are! Take a look, none of the first words in his sentences start with a capital letter. "u"? Ummm, I thought there were a couple of extra letters in that word. "5.00/hour"?

Is that an elapsed time or did he mean $5.00/hour? He also forgot to hyphenate and capitalize "mini mart". As far as the rest of his letter goes: Being picked last in gym class had more to do with popularity, I've found, than actual skill. As far as being too ignorant (which means "uneduacated") to understand strategy... I learned more strategy by playing chess than I ever did playing football. True, sports are a part of life and we will never be fortunate enough to not have them. As far as his comment about sports teaching character... I guess it does.

In my hometown, high school wrestling is REAL big. What did I observe? I observed wrestlers starving themselves, running in sauna suits, taking ExLax, and exercising until their bodies collapsed. Character? Right. Why does he have to comment about a minimum wage job? What does that have to do with sports? I worked at a gas station for awhile. Why? Because it was the only job available. When it comes to caring for your family, you do what you can.

Look at the stereotypical sports fan, we'll take football as an example. On Sunday and Monday nights, what are they doing? They certainly aren't doing anything worthwhile. If I were a sports fan, would my baby's room be getting remodeled? Nope. Why, because I work six nights a week! No, I don't work at a gas station anymore. In fact, I'll bet a make a helluva lot better living than most sports fans. I'll also wager that I'm in better shape than your average sports fan. In fact, I'd make a solid bet that I could whoop the pants off a majority of them. I had offers galore from the high school faculty, asking if I could PLEASE join the football team. I didn't join any sports because growing up, I had to hunt to put food on the table. Well, I guess that's about all I can say. Keep up the good work on this site!!!!

Sir John Patrick of Keltgen

6 October 02

It's obscene how professional athletes are paid these astronomical amounts of money for catching a ball. Get the ball! Get the ball!!! When I was in the seventh grade I enrolled in athletics and lasted till almost the ninth grade. We had a coach that was a sick bastard and I hope he pays for the abuse he inflicted on me and other students.

In 1970 people didn't consider it abuse to beat the hell out of kids where I grew up and especially if you were an athlete you were expected to endure anything. I will never forget when, in the dead of winter, the coach decided we should all be given one lick for every grade under a (B) so he lined us all up outside in the cold and we dropped our sweats to our underwear and he commenced to give us licks with a very big paddle. I received eight licks that day. I didn't cry, I took it. When I got home I had extreme bruises across my ass. I didn't say anything to my parents because we were told we should endure all pain... That sorry mother fucker!!! My neighbor John did cry and was kicked out of athletics.

Another time I had missed a week of school for a strain of flu called Hong Kong Flu. So of course when I returned to school the SOB had me make up the workouts that I had missed. I was told to make several laps around the track pulling a tire with a rope and harness strapped to my chest. I was still weak from being so sick but I made it around the long track several times before he let me stop.

Another time he was mad so he came in and told us he didn't want to hear one word from the locker room while we took our after workout showers. My immediate coach (one of the 4 assistant coaches) came in and called roll call, my last name starting with E was one of first ones called. Right when I said "here" the head coach walked in and gave everyone who answered roll call a lick. My coach didn't say a word. He stood there and let that SOB paddle us for answering roll call. Within a week the assistant coach transferred to the P.E. department along with me and a few other athletes leaving as well. P.E. was definately an improvement but I could never understand what redeeming qualities "dodge ball" could bring out in a person. Who the hell ever invented "dodge ball" and brought it to schools should be castrated and beat to death with high velocity balls shot from a cannon.

Yes, I HATE SPORTS !!!

Steve Strange

7 Nov 02

Hi,
I just got through looking over your website and I felt relieved that there are others out there who don't care for sports. Now I don't feel entirely alone. Growing up in west Texas, it is a place that was extremely intolerant of anyone or anything different. Which makes it a pretty dull and unpleasent place to live in. The unspoken atittude was that if you're a male and didn't play sports then you were a fag and didn't deserve to have a penis!

I am a painter, a passion I have had all my life and I am mainly self taught because there were not many arts programs at my school. All the money went into the athletic department. Which I find rather silly because athletics cost waaaaaaaaaay more money than all the art programs (painting, drawing, music, etc..) combined. I would also like to add that the games that the schools have for football and basketball and baseball never generate enough profits to cover the costs of the athletic department. And y'all are right about colleges being sports factories, Texas Tech is guilty of that big time!!!!

Oh well, what can one do about it? The trend will go on and on and history will keep repeating itself. But it's a goood feeling to know that there are others out there who don't buy into the idiotic drivel of the sports world, where if you play sports you will be accepted as a human being.

Sincerely Johnny H!

15 Nov 02

First of all, your site sucks.

People like you really make my blood boil. You don't like sports, which I can understand anyway, but for God's sake.... you have to go and make a whole friggin' site dedicated to why *I* shouldn't like them, and go on and make false claims as to why they suck. Well, since you seem to take it so personally, I'll respond to a few of these...

Don't you think you're taking this a bit too far? I mean, come on. It's one thing to not like something, but... no, you have to go and make a whole society out of it, encouraging people to "join us to support the cause", as if this some kind of battle. Pathetic. You go and make a whole club about it, even going so far as to offer a certificate of membership, BUMPER STICKERS, and T-SHIRTS to those who will dedicate themselves to the "eradication of sports". Absolutely pathetic.

You claim that millions of people hate sports, but how many hits does your site have.... 500?

Sports are RECREATION. ENTERTAINMENT. FUN. Three important key words that I'll say again: RECREATION. ENTERTAINMENT. FUN. Playing and participating in sports is a good and fun way to exercise, just like riding a bike, just like running, just like doing anything that involves physical activity. Enough said here.

I am a Sixers fan. Since I know you have no knowledge of sports whatsoever, I'll let you know that the Sixers are a basketball team. Now why do I watch them? I am a DIE-HARD Sixers fan, and I will be until the day I die. I will be a fan of professional basketball until the day I die. Why?

I happen to play basketball myself, and I can appreciate the things that basketball players do on the court. I am not that tall, and I can barely touch the rim on a basketball net. When I see players like Kobe Bryant or Michael Jordan not only touch the rim, but jump RIGHT OVER other players and slam the ball through... I think to myself, "Holy shit... that's incredible, I could NEVER be able to do that." See, I can appreciate that. Maybe you can't.

The things that players like Allen Iverson, Kobe Bryant, and Michael Jordan do on the basketball court thrill me and amaze me. Watching them perform their magic is a great thing. Watching an Allen Iverson crossover dribble that's so perfect that it leaves the defender clueless. Watching a Vince Carter slam dunk with two rotations in the air, putting the damn ball under his leg while still in the air, and slamming it home with one hand. Watching players soar above their defenders or draining three-pointers so nicely that you're on the edge of your seat in anticipation, wondering if he could possibly break the record, watching the greatest athletes in the world at the highest possible level of competition. THIS is why I enjoy professional basketball.

Sports inspire. Allen Iverson is an inspiration to people who are not very tall, because he proves that you can be short (He's not even six feet tall) but if you have the heart and determination, you can succeed at any level. Allen Iverson is one of the best players in professional basketball right now, despite his size.

Once in the championship game of professional basketball, a player played the whole damn game with a broken leg, did great, and the team won the championship. They told him he couldn't play. They told him he should sit out and let his team lose. But he didn't listen. He had the heart and determination to, despite his injury, go out there and give it his all. And he succeeded. He was faced with a problem, but he didn't let it get in the way of his goal. It's an inspiration in many ways.

You even have a section on your site dedicated to stupid sports quotes. So the hell what? What does this prove? Athletes say stupid things. Doctors say stupid things. Plumbers say stupid things. Lawyers say stupid things. Farmers say stupid things. Human beings say stupid things. It's in our nature. Hell, your site is chock full of stupid quotes, but I won't go there.

One of your articles states that people who watch sports are fat, unathletic bozos with no relationship to any of the players on the field or court. If this is true, do you hate movies too? I mean, watching movies isn't exactly being athletic, and you probably have no relationship to any of the actors on the stage. And for that matter, why would you go to a play or any kind of performance? I mean, you're just sitting there on your fat ass watching, not doing anything except watching. You probably have nothing to do with any of the actors or performers on the stage either. Same thing with television, or radio, or countless other things.

I hope you sense my sarcasm here.

If sports are so brainless, as you claim, and are so damn easy that only complete idiots... why the hell do YOU suck at them? Boy, you must REALLY be an idiot then, huh!

The truth is that professional sports are not easy at all.

Slam dunking a basketball isn't just putting it through the hoop. It's having enough athletic ability (trust me, a LOT) to soar into the air and defy gravity, OVER your defenders to make sure you don't get blocked, strong enough so the ball won't get swatted away by the opposing team, but delicate enough so you'll know it'll be a perfect swish, and knowing that one false move could mean a failure of the entire play. It takes a great deal of athletic awareness and ability to dunk a basketball, especially in the middle of a game at the professional competition. Dunking is an art. It ain't easy.

Hitting a baseball is an art too. It ain't easy. That baseball is travelling at speeds of up to 100 MPH, so fast that I bet you couldn't even swing the bat in time. And if that baby hit you... especially in the head (which has happened numerous times) you'd be knocked into next week.

If these two actions are so easy, and the people who perform them are so dense, then why aren't YOU in the NBA?

Athletes DO help society. Yes, they make millions, but only the arrogant ones (which despite what you think, isn't that many) keep it all. Most players have some sort of charity or fund-raising organization which they regularly donate to and encourage others to do the same. Michael Jordan even donated his entire salary in 2001-2002 to help efforts of the September 11, 2001 terrorist attacks. And Jordan's salary for one year ain't chump change either, dude.

Athletes help society in the way that they offer entertainment especially in times of uncertainty. They dazzle our imaginations, thrill us and amaze us, and give us hope and inspiration during times when it is much needed. A week after the 9/11 attacks, what did many people do? To escape the fire for just a little while, they went to a baseball game. And for just a few hours, they were able to take their mind off the tragedies and just relax and enjoy the game. Watching their favorite sports teams in action brightened their moods and their days.

Many great people are sports fans. Rudy Giuliani, for example, is a die-hard Yankee fan. Always has been, always will be.

A few of your articles talk of people who are simply embarrassed that they don't know anything about sports, when confronted by other people with sport-related questions. Here's my advice: Just don't say anything, dude. Or admit that you don't know what he's talking about. I mean, I basically know nothing about movies. I've never even seen Titanic, a movie which most people have seen. And a few times I've been confronted with a question about the movie... "Hey, did you like such-and-such part?" And I'll just say, "I didn't see that movie." It's not that hard. Come on, my friend isn't going to stop being friends with me just because of that.

I think I've made my point pretty clear.

Oh yeah... and, Go 76ers. Allen Iverson for MVP. By the way... I hope you post this. And if anyone wants to argue, try me. JohnM2038@aol.com.

Peace.

16 Nov 02

That last letter is a little long and rambling so I'll summarize: this person is positively rabid about the fact that not everyone on the planet thinks the same way he does. He, like every other ignorant sports fan in the world, is offended that we don't like sports. He is offended that this website even exists!

Let me get this straight. We are constantly bombarded by sports -live games, recorded games, commentaries, interviews, trivia, etc -on radio, on TV, in the papers (how this ever rated as news I'll never know), in magazines. It's all around us constantly. And we live in a culture where not liking sports is virtually taboo. I'm exposed to this madness everywhere I go and GET THIS: this idiot is offended that there is a single website somewhere in an obscure corner of the internet that no one ever sees.. unbelievable. Look, Allen Iverson, or whatever your name is, this site is not for you. Don't come back.

-Don

16 Nov 02

"That last letter is a little long and rambling so I'll summarize: this person is positively rabid about the fact that not everyone on the planet thinks the same way he does. He, like every other ignorant sports fan in the world, is offended that we don't like sports. He is offended that this website even exists!

First of all, thanks for ignoring basically everything I wrote in the last post. I appreciate it.

I'm not offended at all that you don't like sports. You can like whatever the hell you want to like. I'm offended that your site suggests that anyone who likes or participates in sports are:

(And this is what I've found so far)

1) Ignorant and obnoxious

2) All-around asses

3) "Muscle-headed losers"

4) Loudmouth jerks

5) So stupid they can't add numbers

6) Idiots

7) Lazy

8) Dense

9) "Weirdos"

10) Crazy or insane

11) Coming from poor families

12) Contributing to the downfall of society

And there's definitely more as well. Being a sports fan myself, THAT'S what offends me.

You claim you're constantly bombarded with sports in the way of:
Live games - Don't watch them.
Recorded games - Same thing.
Commentaries - Don't watch ESPN. Not every network talks about sports.
Interviews - That's why they have a seperate section in the newspaper for sports. If you don't like it, don't turn there.
Trivia - How can you be bombarded with sports trivia?
Radio - Don't listen to sports stations. There aren't that many.
TV - Don't watch sports networks. There aren't that many.
Newspapers - Same as above.
Magazines - What the hell are you reading? Sports Illustrated?

I could have replied back and said "No. You're wrong. You're stupid. Sports rock and you're gay." But instead I tried to give you some points that I wanted you to just think about for a second, whether you agree with them or not isn't the point. You didn't even acknowledge any of them, and blew me off as just another ignorant idiot.

Thanks a lot.

19 Nov 02

Allen says:

"Sports are RECREATION. ENTERTAINMENT. FUN. Three important key words that I'll say again: RECREATION. ENTERTAINMENT. FUN. Playing and participating in sports is a good and fun way to exercise, just like riding a bike, just like running, just like doing anything that involves physical activity. Enough said here."

I agree. Physical activity is great. Everyone knows that. But being addicted to WATCHING OTHERS play is about as deviant as being a voyeur. I cannot understand the attraction. Sports fans must make the best yes-men in the world.

"I am a Sixers fan. Since I know you have no knowledge of sports whatsoever, I'll let you know that the Sixers are a basketball team. Now why do I watch them? I am a DIE-HARD Sixers fan, and I will be until the day I die. I will be a fan of professional basketball until the day I die."

I'm impressed. You must be a hell of a man. I admire you... unconditional, slobbering admiration for a bunch of guys you'll never meet and who wouldn't give you the time of day if you did happen to meet them.

Tommy

20 Nov 02

There's a story about an MIT student who spent an entire summer going to the Harvard football field every day wearing a black and white striped shirt, walking up and down the field for ten or fifteen minutes throwing birdseed all over the field, blowing a whistle and then walking off the field.

At the end of the summer, it came time for the first Harvard home football game, the referee walked onto the field and blew the whistle, and the game had to be delayed for half an hour to wait for the birds to get off the field. The guy wrote his thesis on this, and graduated.

Alan

5 Dec 02

Good job on the site. I'd like to address one aspect of not liking sports: the automatic assumption that if you don't like sports, you must be gay. Where does that come from? I don't like sports, any of them, except for pro wrestling and maybe martial arts matches and maybe sumo once in a while. And I don't really watch those. If they happen to come on while I'm watching TV, I won't AUTOMATICALLY turn the channel like I would with any other sport. The only other exception is women's sports. If I'm channel surfing and I come across a couple of babes battin' a ball back and forth across a tennis court, I'll stay on that channel for a WHILE. I love to hear 'em grunt. : ) Or women's volleyball. Also good. Especially if they're well endowed. Or women's basketball for the same reasons (except that most women basketball players are coyote ugly!). Anyway, my point is that I like watching the few sports shows I watch for what seem to me to be natural reasons: I like to watch babes in action.

Why would anyone want to watch a bunch of GUYS chase a ball around? Unless they LIKE men and enjoy watching men in action. That's not me. So why do people assume that if you don't like watching men in action that you're GAY? It doesn't make sense. I'll bet the opposite is more true: if you like watching men in action, YOU must be gay!

Ray