International I Hate Sports Club

OK, here is my definition or description of a true sports fan.

A full grown 200 pound Kindergartener with the mind of a 3 year old, ripping pages out of books, destroying art projects, and beating, raping, or killing anybody who doesn't like Tiddly Winks!

And here is my definition of a true professional jock.

A full grown 300 pound Kindergartener with the mind of a 2 year old, ripping pages out of books, destroying art projects and destroying schools and libraries, and jumping up and down screaming like a moronic cry baby wetting his pants, and beating, raping, or killing people if he doesn't get his way, and doesn't get paid at least 5 million dollars per year just for playing Tiddly Winks!

Definition for all professional sports.

TIDDLY WINKS!

Well, I think that just about covers all bases.



Let's see if anybody else here can come up with a better definition or description.

interestingly enough from what I have read in past reports, during the superbowl domestic violence increases 3 times normal, and even many of the commercials that represent the stupidbowl have become violent.
Perhaps they should just give clubs and knives to each member of the team and let em go at it. Last man standing wins.

Well, that would have to make it more interesting than it is now but I wince to think of how gory that would be. I could go for tasers though!

The sports fan: I want to wear some big guy's jersey like I was his bitch!

dannj wrote:interestingly enough from what I have read in past reports, during the superbowl domestic violence increases 3 times normal, and even many of the commercials that represent the stupidbowl have become violent.
Perhaps they should just give clubs and knives to each member of the team and let em go at it. Last man standing wins.

Excellent idea! And the last man standing after all the bloodshed and mayhem gets tazered by the cops, and hauled off to the slammer and put away for life, so far away he won't be able to hear the dogs barking!

Yes, I've heard that during the Stupor Bore game, domestic violence increases three-fold.

That's typical. Most football games cause domestic violence.

When the typical redneck football fan, and his family come home from church to their single axle trailer, the first thing the ol' man does is to demand that his family shuts the fuck up because there's going to be a game on TV, and then he demands that his wife brings him a beer, usually that cheap Buckhorn brand that smells like tar paper torn off a shit house roof.



So he just sits there in front of his black & white TV set with a coat hanger antenna, guzzling down a case of that Buckhorn beer, and eating greasy hamburgers and greasy fries all deep fried in lard.

While the games is going on, his kids must keep quiet. They're not allowed to go outside toplay, they must sit there in the room with the TV going, and just shut the fuck up!

And if his favorite team loses the big game of the season, he beats the holy crap out of his wife and kids, rapes his daughter, kicks the cat, screws the pooch, and give the parakeet and goldfish cause for alarm!

Ah! Land O' Goshen, that's the life!

This goes on every Sunday afternoon, until one day, the ol; man rises to his feet to beat the crap out of his wife. He stands there on thin wobbly legs, his huge round beer belly hanging down over the front of his pants which are sliding half-way down on his ass, then he clutches at his chest, gasps for air, and keels over dead from a massive heat attack while still only in his 40s and lays there face down on the carpet in his own vomit!

Yeah, that's typical here in the south.

what if I was a sports fan and a super genius named jimmy neutron? I guess there has to be exceptions to the rule, that's what I learned from studying law
BLAST OFF

I agree with you.