A Poem - Granny Appleby! - Yeah! Don't Mess With Granny!

[Fat Man]

Granny Appleby

The Supermarket proved to be
a trial for Granny Appleby,
the shelves were high and she was low,
a featherweight as granny's go.
'Ah rats' she mumbled to herself,
'the birdseeds' on the highest shelf,
unless I gain some extra height,
my Charlie won't get fed tonight.'

The Manager who lingered near
said 'Having trouble Granny dear??
Our shelves are much too high you say,
well I see it in a different way.
The problem is your much too small,
a tiny speck, a ping pong ball.
A monkey would be bigger than you
and somewhat better looking too!'
Insulted Granny left the store,
but came back with a mighty roar.

Window's smashed, alarm bells rang
and in burst Granny's bikie gang.
The gang was fierce, the gang was mad,
the gang was old and leather clad.
With chains and clubs and specks and spikes
the Granny's revved their super bikes.

Then up and down the lanes they sped
with Granny Appleby up ahead.
'Yippee' she cried as piles of tins
were toppled just like bowling pins.
They crushed the nuts and blew away
the continental food display.
They squashed the squash and split the peas
and toppled all the toiletries.

The manager who'd been so rude
was knocked into the frozen food.
And there he lay in cold repose
with two fish fingers up his nose.
Granny Appleby said 'You really should not poke fun,
at poor defenceless grannys, son'.
Then off she roared upon her Harley,
home to feed her vulture Charlie.

Doug Macleod