Another Behavior of the Sports Meatlump

[Millhouse]

I haven't mentioned this one yet, but thought of it while replying to a post.

Sports meatlump changes TV channel to some sporting event.
I know what's coming. I leave the room quietly and politely. Sports meatlump is offended, but is too engrossed in overeating, beer and the starting line up.
Sports meatlump yells and bellows at TV and invites others over to do the same.
I am minding my own business.
Sports meatlump comes into my room, where I am enjoying any number of activities, such as scale model building, reading a book, playing and writing music, or playing a video game and asks if I want to partake in his or her animalistic ritual.
I decline and return to what I enjoy doing.

Sports meatlump begins to assert to me, because sports meatlump thinks they have such a unique insight into those who do not enjoy competitive human animalistic rituals, the tried and failed line I have heard over and over my entire life if I ever tell someone that I am not into sports:

"You know, you really need to learn to relax/cut loose and learn to enjoy yourself more. Then you'll catch on and actually like what we do."

Wow. So it's about fitting in, even though I never had any desire to in the first place? Well, gosh, why didn't you tell me. Please, a thousand pardons while I don a beer hat, take a seat with a 10 gallon drum of popcorn and pretzels, and belch, scream and fart at the television with you and your friends. Wow, I have sure seen the light.

Please.

I just thought of this one, it's a more subtle tactic the meatlumps have tried on me many times, without success. Trying to make me believe, that somehow, my disenfranchisement with sports as they see it involves some simple relaxation technique. Yeah. Sure. I guess the entire idea that I have my hobbies and I enjoy them more than I enjoy sports is just too difficult for their brain processes to comprehend.

The other thing that sickens me is when a meatlump thinks there's something wrong with you just because you aren't into it. All your hobbies and other passions are well and good, but that they should somehow take a backseat to sports.

Rant over, feel free to discuss.

[Polite24]

I see what you're saying, I really do.

You don't want to watch sports, so you don't think you should be judged for that. That's fine and understandable, sports aren't for everyone.

However, how are you any better when you judge them for something as simple and harmless as being loud and having fun watching a game?

Jeez, some of you guys think everyone should just be quiet all the time and never have any fun except when partaking in peaceful, wholesome activities.

[Earl]

... conform ... conform ... you must conform ... there is no "you" ... no "you" ... no "you" ... you must be like us ... like us ... like us ... you must join with us ... with us ... with us ... the gang ... the gang ... you must join the gang ... the gang ... you will not be an outsider ... not an outsider ... no outsider ... no outsider ... you are complete only in us ... only in us ... in us ... in us ... in us ... the body is one ... is one ... is one ... we are one ... are one ... are one ... you are not of the body ...the body ... the body ... you do not belong ... belong ... belong ... you will become a part of the body ... the body ... the body ... the body ...

"You know, you really need to learn to relax/cut loose and learn to enjoy yourself more. ..."

But that's precisely what you're trying to do with your hobbies! The ninnies.

[Earl]

However, how are you any better when you judge them for something as simple and harmless as being loud and having fun watching a game?

Jeez, some of you guys think everyone should just be quiet all the time and never have any fun except when partaking in peaceful, wholesome activities.

Polite24, I think you're missing the point. Millhouse really isn't judging them. He just wants to be left alone when he says he's not interested in watching a ball game on TV. I don't believe that we think everyone should just be quiet all the time. We're just as boisterous as anyone else. If you knew me personally, you would know that I'm certainly not quiet. When I watch a really funny Mystery Science Theater 3000 show with family and/or friends, I end up rolling on the floor with laughter. When we actually had snow earlier this winter, I and several of the teenage boys who are members of my congregation clobbered each other with snowballs in the parking lot outside. (You see, the last time we had snow was in 1994.) Was that the way for a 58-year-old man to behave? Yes, it was. Anyway, it's no big deal.

[Fat Man]

However, how are you any better when you judge them for something as simple and harmless as being loud and having fun watching a game?

Jeez, some of you guys think everyone should just be quiet all the time and never have any fun except when partaking in peaceful, wholesome activities.

I don't have any objection to people being loud, shouting, and laughing and having a good time.

I just don't like it when some sports bore thinks he has to come up to me and belch in my face or shout in my face.

You all want to be loud and obnoxious? Fine!

Just keep your distance from me because I don't want to have to smell your beer breath or your beer farts!

Also, don't go around breaking store windows, setting fires, and overturning cars!

Be as loud as you wish, but keep your monkey-paws off of me and off of mine and other people's property.

I was once living in a collage dorm, The Collage Inn up in Albuquerque New Mexico and there was a TV room, and me and some of my friends we were watching a really cool science fiction move on TV when some redneck sports bore goat-ropers came in and switched the channel over to some stupid ugly repulsive football game.

We were there first, so it's first come first served. They had no right to switch the channel on us.

What make you sports bores and monkey-boys think that you can trample on the rights of other people?

You animals seriously need to be taught some manners!

[Ray]

I haven't mentioned this one yet, but thought of it while replying to a post.

Sports meatlump changes TV channel to some sporting event...

Sports meatlump begins to assert to me, because sports meatlump thinks they have such a unique insight into those who do not enjoy competitive human animalistic rituals, the tried and failed line I have heard over and over my entire life if I ever tell someone that I am not into sports:

"You know, you really need to learn to relax/cut loose and learn to enjoy yourself more. Then you'll catch on and actually like what we do."

Rant over, feel free to discuss.

Meat-Lump --that's funny. I can just picture the puzzled, ape-like expression.

But it is kind of endearing that he tries to help you "fit in". I guess fitting in, in this case, means submitting to the alpha-dog and liking what the alpha-dog likes.

Never submit!

[Millhouse]

I see what you're saying, I really do.

We'll see about that. I actually think you like debating against me at this point because you're looking to improve your debate skills, and if that is the case, I'm flattered to be your sensei.

You don't want to watch sports, so you don't think you should be judged for that. That's fine and understandable, sports aren't for everyone.

I agree. But I'm going to point out the importance of the last statement in reference to sports fanatics. No, sports aren't for everyone, but the hardcore sports fanatics seem to think so. The non sports fan finds his or her patience constantly under fire, being tested time and again by the '99 percent'.

Sports aren't for everyone, but try telling the sports fan that. They think if it's good enough for them...

However, how are you any better when you judge them for something as simple and harmless as being loud and having fun watching a game?

Earl hit the nail on the head with this one with the comment that most of the time, we're just minding our own business when the zany, loveable sports fan comes to call on us to participate, then verbally attempts to strike us down for not wanting to. Think of a cluster of people yelling and behaving boisterously as an expanding cloud of heat. Eventually it will affect anything or anyone around it.

Jeez, some of you guys think everyone should just be quiet all the time and never have any fun except when partaking in peaceful, wholesome activities.

One WEEKnight, back in 1996, my pregnant wife and I were asleep in our new apartment. We were both exhausted and had a long day of work ahead of us in the morning.

At 11:00, well past the Dallas curfew, we were awakens by syncronized shouts, accompanied by various screaming and yelling from male and female human beings.

I went out to my porch. All our windows were shut and we heard this racket. At least 100 yards away, across the apartment courtyard, some dipshit and his buddies decided to have a party and were watching some sporting event on television (watching a sporting event solicits a very, very specific reaction out of a meatlump), and to make damn sure everyone else knew about it, opened his living room window all the way up. He could have easily turned on the air conditioning. Or perhaps they were 'having too much fun' as you put it to care?

The apartment security got close to 50 calls that night before they finally stepped in and called the cops. My wife, enraged by their behavior (never mess with a pregnant woman), could not get through to the line because it was flooded with other people calling in to complain.

To quote Gallagher, regarding bowling... "Object of the game...to do the same thing, over and over and over, won't that be fun? Bowling is an excuse to get drunk. And drunk is an excuse for your bowling."

That last part applies here. Sports are quite obnoxious in their uncanny ability to encourage drinking and excessively loud, obnoxious behaviour, which can in many cases, lead to violence.

It's not about noise. It's about mindset, and attitude. No, you can't legislate rudeness. In a free thinking society, you CAN however, call it out and expose it for what it is, which is why this website exists. That and Freedom of Speech. Sports fanatics are, by and large, a three ring act when they host a sporting event in their home. Most of the time, I ignore it. But if it's in the same house I share space in with someone else, it's hard. I mean, if I want to see the circus when it comes to town, I'll just go do that.

[abitagirl]

... conform ... conform ... you must conform ... there is no "you" ... no "you" ... no "you" ... you must be like us ... like us ... like us ... you must join with us ... with us ... with us ... the gang ... the gang ... you must join the gang ... the gang ... you will not be an outsider ... not an outsider ... no outsider ... no outsider ... you are complete only in us ... only in us ... in us ... in us ... in us ... the body is one ... is one ... is one ... we are one ... are one ... are one ... you are not of the body ...the body ... the body ... you do not belong ... belong ... belong ... you will become a part of the body ... the body ... the body ... the body ...

Ha! Yeah, that's it in a nutshell. "Must...watch...sports. Must...fit...in. Must...be...like...screaming...apes."

I didn't know the only possible way to relax and have fun was to stare at a game on TV and jump around and yell like a moron because some musclehead I don't even know ran into an endzone while carrying a weird-shaped ball. All this time I've been relaxing the wrong way.

[Millhouse]

It's not about noise. It's about mindset, and attitude.

Just to reinforce my point.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bvrfEL7K ... re=related

I about laughed my butt off when the brother put the camera down on the counter.

And this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_kBS1J_4KqU

And THIS...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UlXe_HCEqTY

And this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bLAblO7Z ... re=related

Watch those last two and tell me sports doesn't encourage violence. Yes, this is what Polite24 is talking about. This is what is +popular+.

[Earl]

Millhouse, those four videos were absolutely hilarious! Those earrings worn by that guy in the first video sure were cute. How macho! By the way, he really did look like a meatlump (which, indeed, is a cute, endearing term). Our daughter Janet (not her real name), who is a high-school senior, got to watch the third and fourth videos with me. After watching the fourth one, she was so appalled that she needed to be hugged by her mother. Poor Janet! Yes, I think it's important that the players should interact with their fans. It adds to the spirit of the game.