"sports wound"

[Earl]

Yesterday when I did a Google search, I found an interesting post written by a clinical psychologist that certainly is relevant to this board. Here is a link to the webpage that displays the post.

http://americanmentalhealthfoundation.o ... php?id=135

The family PC would not allow me to copy and paste the text of the psychologist's post; so, I've gone to the trouble of transcribing it. I've also taken the liberty to correct typos and add needed punctuation.

The Sports Wound and Bullying
By Dr. William Van Ornum

Many of the public, as well as the mental-health professions, have never heard of the phrase "sports wound." This refers to males who do not display athletic prowess or good eye-hand coordination. As much as we may want to deny this, boys who lack sports ability often are teased and bullied through their growing-up years. Yes, many coaches and physical education teachers are sensitive to this and intervene. But even if the teasing and bullying stops, the boy has received a message that he can't handle himself like the other boys in this situation.

Wise parents and teachers guide the youngster into pursuits where they have strengths or talents and can attain success. Judo, karate, Scouts, noncompetitive sports, carpentry, archery, and many other venues offer boys with the "sports wound" a chance to succeed.

Historically boys with the "sports wound" have been teased as being homosexual. Whatever his sexual orientation, it is cruelty to be on the receiving end of such comments. And these hurtful words continue to be spoken on athletic fields and phys-ed classes around the world.

Our society rewards athletes. When even the President of the United States, a man attuned to racism and prejudice, taunts retarded children by saying his low score in bowling was "like someone in the (Special?) Olympics," we realize the strong and continuing presence of factors leading to the sports wounds.

We may tell children about how many great high-school athletes burn out right after high school and end up in menial jobs. But smart youngsters will also note the many highly successful men whose success is, in heavy measure, supported by the self-esteem and drive that comes from success in the athletic arena.

I wonder if this same sports wound phenomenon is happening to girls, now that there are so many girls' sports. Intriguing. We need to watch for this, listen to the children, and obtain some data.

The "sports wound" shows us some of the sadnesses and paradoxes of a lack of athletic talent, and how many times this is associated with bullying and teasing, which are strongly supported by attitudes putting athletic skills up on the pedestal.

First of all, let me make a disclaimer to any athletes or sports fans who may be reading this post. I am not denigrating your love of sports, either as a participant or a spectator. I have always respected participation in sports, as I would any other endeavor requiring self-discipline. I'm simply pointing out a negative side of the sports culture that is injurious to others; namely, young boys.

At the risk of being controversial, I disagree with Dr. Ornum when he says that many coaches and physical education teachers are sensitive to the bullying of nonathletic boys and intervene when it happens. As much as I hate to say this, I don't believe it for a second. I know that some do, but to me the majority seem to regard nonathletic boys with either indifference or contempt. At least this was what I observed in my own mandatory P.E. experience when I was a boy.

I also believe that some boys can (actually, should) find fulfillment in strictly academic pursuits. Not many (please notice that I did not say "all") scientists have had athletic backgrounds when they were kids.

But aside from these slight criticisms that I've just made of the good doctor's comments, I'm deeply appreciative of his calling attention to a problem with which many of the members of this forum are all too familiar.

[The Imperialist]

Ah finally, some proper, professional (?) words on the bad side of the so called sport culture.
However, I am quite surprised that psychologist have uptil now (and still do), have reservations on talking about the psychological downsides of the sporting movement (instead of constantly talking about the postitive aspect, which can jsut as easily be found by normal excercise, not sports).

[i_like_1981]

I would describe myself as one of those people who was deeply affected by this so-called "sports wound". There are of course many ways to stay physically and socially active that don't involve playing competitive sports. One can join walking or orienteering clubs or become part of the Scouts organisation. I did not do either of these as I honestly was made to feel that I could not excel at all in anything that required an element of physical determination. I also had self-esteem problems growing up, and that still affects me now. It's all about the way one handles the "sports wound" that determines how badly it will affect them. Some nonathletic people who are teased in schools do not let it get to them as bad as it did for me and will try to stay active and confident in ways other than sports. Sadly, I was made to believe that sucking at sports and being teased for that meant that I would also suck at anything practical or physical whatsoever and I did not try a lot of new things growing up. I didn't want to risk humiliation or looking the tool of the group again. Good that the same can not be said for everybody. It's good that not everybody is losing so much faith in themselves because of these play games that some people just take too far. Thank you for bringing this term to my attention, Earl.

Best regards,
i_like_1981

[Earl]

Thank you for bringing this term to my attention, Earl.

You're welcome.

I would describe myself as one of those people who was deeply affected by this so-called "sports wound".

You and me both, although I was affected in a different way. What is sad about the nonathletic boys who have trouble handling the "sports wound" is that their parents often don't realize that there's a problem, and the boys themselves may not completely understand it. This is one reason why fathers should not be distant from their sons. Fathers are not meant to be "pals" to their sons, since they do have authority over them; but they should show their love for their sons and be willing to spend time with them and actually know what their needs are and help them to deal with their problems.

There are of course many ways to stay physically and socially active that don't involve playing competitive sports. One can join walking or orienteering clubs or become part of the Scouts organisation.

One of the "pluses" of this website is that the reader can read posts in the forum and messages in the "Letters" section from men who have been very physically active, but have no use for sports. I realize that website messages can be fake, but I have no reason to doubt the authenticity of these messages. For example, if I remember correctly, neither SEAL76 (a combat veteran) nor his son (also a Navy SEAL) participated in any sport when they were in high school. And several months ago Ray, the site Admin, mentioned in an e-mail he sent to me that he had corresponded with a bodybuilder online about publishing a book. The bodybuilder, who had published several (if I remember correctly) books about bodybuilding, told Ray that he had absolutely no use for sports. (Now comes another disclaimer.) I'm not bashing sports. I'm just saying the claim that sports is the way to be physically active is patently false.

I did not do either of these as I honestly was made to feel that I could not excel at all in anything that required an element of physical determination. I also had self-esteem problems growing up, and that still affects me now. It's all about the way one handles the "sports wound" that determines how badly it will affect them. Some nonathletic people who are teased in schools do not let it get to them as bad as it did for me and will try to stay active and confident in ways other than sports. Sadly, I was made to believe that sucking at sports and being teased for that meant that I would also suck at anything practical or physical whatsoever and I did not try a lot of new things growing up. I didn't want to risk humiliation or looking the tool of the group again. Good that the same can not be said for everybody. It's good that not everybody is losing so much faith in themselves because of these play games that some people just take too far.

You were fed the Big Lie that is propagated by the negative side of the sports culture. There are many extremely successful men who were never good at sports. My father was one of them. He overcame a dysfunctional family background to become extremely successful as an architect. There are many examples of nonathletic men who have been successful in many different fields. Competition is not always a necessity in a career.

I hear you about having a lack of self-esteem. I've also struggled with that problem in my own life. You are a good man, i_like_1981. You have good values. You've grown since you started posting at this website. You've largely overcome your prejudice against athletes (which is quite understandable, considering your background) and are able to view them as individuals. I think you possibly have strengths you're not aware of and talents you've yet to discover. You're still young. Just continue to do what you know is right.