Letters 2022
24 October 2022
Subject: I hate sports with a passion
I live in the United States, I am a man, I am a straight man. I am a straight man who hates sports. The reason why I feel the need to bring up my sexuality and sex is because it may be hard for every single one of you retarded meat-headed shit-for-brains jock douchebags out there in the world to believe, but IT IS POSSIBLE TO BE STRAIGHT, A MAN, AND NOT LIKE SPORTS. I'll tell you my story...
When I was a kid, I never cared for sports. I just never did. I was just indifferent to sports at the time. It never interested me. But as I went through elementary school, and then middle school, and then high school, and now into my 30's, my indifference to sports morphed into pure bloodlust hatred for it and every single obsessed sports fan on the planet. I've had to witness schools piss the majority of their funds into sports equipment instead of academic equipment.
All throughout my childhood to this very day, I had to put up with having my sexuality and manhood questioned simply for not giving a shit about sports. Yet these dipshits don't see the irony in obsessing over big hairy sweaty men who shower together and pat each other on the ass and wind down with a nice steamy group shower after spending all day falling down on top of one another. Toooootally nothing gay about that, right? (I'm referring to American Football in case those of you in Europe don't know what I'm talking about. American Football is just as popular in America as your version of Football is over in Europe. We call your version of Football "Soccer" over here.)
Let me just say that I don't hate you sports fans because "I'm not good at sports" as your one-dimensional limited thinking would put it. I hate you sports fans because your liking of sports is more like an unhealthy obsession. You pick violent fights over which team you think is the best (which is just really over which team is your favorite). You start riots over which team wins and loses. You look down your noses at whoever DOESN'T like sports. And in some of the worst cases, you abuse your kids because they either don't share your interests in sports or your kid is in a school sports team that lost a game. Your one-dimensional knuckle-dragging simian mind can't process the fact that there are other people out there who don't give a shit about sports. Everyday, I fantasize about vandalizing various local school games by spray painting the most offensive tasteless shit I can come up with all over the local school Football fields, just so your local Football games can be cancelled and I'll get to watch the pissed off looks on your faces. Fuck you, sports fans. I'm never going to like sports. GET OVER IT. And the more you try to get me to like it, the more I'm going to hate it and you.
Anonymous
24 September 2022
Subject:
During my whole life I've been FORCED to play sports and pretend to like them. Soccer in particular is a sort of illness where I live and I find it unbearable. It was almost impossible to see my friends without having to watch a f**king match at the pub or at someone's TV.
I AM LAZY and sport is such a meaningless fatigue: why should I waste my precious energy for it? I can stay healthy without it as well. Watching it is even more idiot: not entertaining or cultural in any way.
Over the years I've learnt not to be ashamed of being lazy: to people inviting me to watch some f**king match on TV I kept saying NO until they finally stopped. I am the way I am and if you find me a weirdo well F**K YOU, you're wasting your time thinking of me. I feel awesome without sports in my life.
Society should stop considering sports as mandatory: I want the freedom of not being judged for my laziness.
Pietro, Italy
19 September 2022
Subject:
Let me start by saying that I am not at all against people who like sports. I am a bird watcher and also love hiking in parks and natural areas where lots of wildlife are. I am however offended when someone says I failed at something because I'm not into sports. I think there are lots of different things you can get involved in that doesn't involve sports. If someone likes it that's their business. But I have other interests. Sports are not the only thing on the planet. I love nature. :)
Joel
12 August 2022
Subject: fuck athletic people
Back when I was at school there were always these types of annoying athletic sports people in my gym class who would always shit on people who don't even play sports. In my sophomore year there was this one kid in my gym class who would always get yelled at for the stupidest reasons ever. I always felt bad for him because he had to go to the same gym class every day just to get yelled at just because of some stupid soccer game. I swear people in my gym class take everything so seriously. Sometimes these athletic idiots would just yell at everyone just because of one stupid sports game.
Unsigned
30 July 2022
Subject: Little League Coach
In response to Ray's posting about the Little League coach assaulting pupils for not being good enough, this is nothing new and some PE teachers and coaches are the lowest of the low, although since corporal punishment was banned in 1986 in the UK, a lot of the sadism and violence from these jerks was reduced. However, those of us grew up before 1986 will always recall stories about abusive and sadistic PE teachers and how they were often protected by the schools that employed them.
The BBC presenter Nicky Campbell has come out about abuse in his school in Edinburgh and singles out a PE teacher who was truly repulsive and makes the Little League coach look like a saint.
Nicky Campbell: Abuse would have crushed my parents
29 July 2022
Subject: Little League Coach Roughs up Kids
Little league attracts the worst kind of adults and threatens the safety of our kids. Saw this on the news last night: Little League Coach
What kind of man punches little kids after his team loses????
Ray
28 July 2022
Subject: The Commonwealth Games
Good evening mates.
So 11 days of a second rate copy of the Olympic Games is starting, with the taxpayer funded BBC going into a frenzy about such exciting sports as table tennis and cricket, and everyone being encouraged to get involved like a Hitler Youth meeting. FFS we've had some women's football tournament rammed down our throat for a month, so now it's time to love the Commonwealth Games or face the firing squad. (To our American friends, this tournament used to be called the British Empire Games and is made up of members of the former Empire.)
While I'll be giving this tournament a miss like the Womens Football Euros, what makes my blood boil is how much the Commonwealth Games costs. £ 800 million has been spent on an 11 day sporting competition. Like hello, people are struggling with soaring energy bills, 10% inflation and low pay rises, but our government has decided to waste £ 800 million on sport. Also Birmingham, the host city, has a terrible crime rate, with half of the population scared to go out at night, some of the worst poverty and unemployment in the UK, and housing estates that are falling apart. Yet the £ 800 million that could have been spent on making the city a much safer and more prosperous place has been blown on the Commonwealth Games. Then to add insult to injury, the well and truly past it pop group Duran Duran will be playing at the opening ceremony for a hefty fee (if it was Black Sabbath, Birmingham's greatest band, I might have been tempted to watch their performance).
Commonwealth Games, no thanks.
AN ENGLISHMAN.
3 July 2022
Subject: Tennis Schmennis
Oh, deary me, whatever shall I do? I appear to be constantly forgetting that Wimblebore is on, and I have missed every single second of it.
And thank goodness for that. Haven't we better things to do? My mother used to enjoy watching it on TV, when I was young. Talk about a cheap thrill. She'd sit goggle-eyed as they hit the pill back and forth, making their little straining noises. Pok! Pok! (grunt) Pok! (whiffle) Pok! Pok! (ooyah).
I must admit to admiring Serena Williams quite a bit. What a gorgeous, powerful creature she is. But I wouldn't be so daft as to watch her whacking a ball. Yawn-o! I can coo over her photos on Instagram; it's much better than getting increasingly grumpy, watching her jump about on TV.
One has one's standards. After all, there are four fun documentaries on the BBC iPlayer, at the moment, about the Rolling Stones, one about the great Frank Zappa and some others about Caribbean Brits and the history of Asian immigration in Birmingham. Much more interesting than Wimblebore. But then pretty much anything is.
Stephen
26 May 2022
Subject: Sports
..are not for the weak, the stupid, or those who cannot work as a team. They are not for nerds who couldn't get any tail in school. They are not for those who cannot speak to another person, especially of the opposite sex, without pissing themselves. Just because you were not only considered inferior during school to those who played sports, but actually were inferior and still are, doesnt mean sports are bad, just that you were bad. Get rid of PE? How fucking stupid. We have a fat epidemic in this country, because losers like you sit on the couch eating and fattening up the country.
For the record, I didnt play sports past 9th grade, but I also didn't whine and cry and denounce them, perhaps because I wasn't a fat, lazy, anti-social loser with no physical prowess. Your opinions remind me of the people who become cops because they want to take out on others their shortcomings and failings. You are no different at all. You suck at something, probably most something's, so you try to denounce them. What pathetic little children you are! Here's to your kids ending up fatter, lazier, dumber, less popular, and more socially inept than you. Pretty much a guarantee with loser parents like you. Maybe you haven't figured out the world yet. In the real world it is eat or be eaten, and it is apparent you were eaten and are slowly being digested by those superior to you, you still can't get over your own failures, insecurities, and shortcomings, so you want to strike out at your superiors. Good luck with that lunch.
Chad
4 April 2022
Subject: Not the world cup AGAIN???
I saw a news item this weekend in which a lot of guys were getting over-excited about choosing teams for some bollocky international sports "event". I see that it is the footbore world cup. Yes, I know I'm supposed to capitalise that, but I refuse to give it any importance.
So, my question is, didn't they have this nonsense last year, in which clutches of louts swaggered up and down city streets, festooned in team colours and chanting "It's coming home it's coming home it's coming home"? And then, to my delight, they looked pretty silly when an Italian team mashed the English team into the ground and skipped away, fa la la, with the cup? Wasn't that the world cup?
If not, (and you can imagine that I really don't give a monkey's flapdoodle what it was), then why must they have these pointless little competitions every naffing year? And if it isn't every year, it jolly-well feels like it is.
Well, you know exactly what to do, don't you, my sterling fellows. Read a book, switch off the news when sp*rts coverage comes on, play the piano, join a band and rock mightily like a pagan warlord on the edge of oblivion, knit yourself a new car, do anything but watch the unhinged hoopla of the world cup.
Let the whole apoplectic toiletfest come and go while you sit all oblivious.
"Did y'see the match last night?" some goggle-eyed twillock will jabber at you, in the office break room. "What can you be referring to, my good man?" you will say from the depths of your gardening magazine. "I watched a YouTube video about aphids."
Defeat them with indifference, and watch them gasp in disbelief; it's much more effective than snarling your hatred of sp*rts, and much more fun.
Stephen
13 February 2022
Subject: A Persecuted Minority
As another Stupor Bore (Super Bowl) Sunday barrels down on us again, I was spurred to give my two cent view on the inanity of sports mania in our society. BTW, it's utterly silent in our house today as my wife and our daughters sit quietly in their own space internetting, doing homework or lost in a book. None of us is into sports.
Sports mania is a sort of persecution in our society. As so many have noted here and similar forums, if you don't conform, you're looked down upon and kids pay the highest price. I grew up in a greater family in which team sports was important and expected to be played by the children. My siblings and close cousins were all star high school athletes. I, on the other hand, was utterly bored and detached from sports. In our rural community, the first thing you were asked was, "So, which sports are you in?" Not, "What are your favorite subjects?" or "How are your grades?" Our school district, moreover, was and still is one of the worst in the state. Being dragged to Little League and Pop Warner as a kid, I was so bored I would play in the dirt or study the grass and weeds. An older cousin who played in Little League used to scream and cry when his team lost, hardly an exemplar of "good sportsmanship." My parents pressured me into joining sports teams, making all the wrong arguments: "Richy and Mark and Cindy and [fill in the cousin] play sports"; "It teaches teamwork"; "You always have your nose in a book. Go out and play sports!"; and on and on. I was made to feel inferior and as an outcast. Same went for school. If you weren't a jock or an active supporter, you were borderline treasonous. All of the ostracism just made me draw further into my shell and close myself off from my family members. And, yes, I read tons of books.
The thing, however, was this. I was a strapping 6-foot, fit teen. I loved the outdoors and spent countless hours hiking, hunting, fishing, boating, camping, etc. And I did do individual sports such as skiing and tennis. Just no team sports. I loved playing football as a kid -- until the adults swept in like drill sergeants to draft the boys into Pop Warner with the message, "Winning is everything." They stole the fun from the pastime I loved and made it regimentation.
In student government, I fought and won battles against the jocks and the administration, mainly centered around resources that were disproportionately diverted to the beloved football and other favored sports teams at the expense of textbooks and club resources. The two sports I did engage in -- tennis and skiing -- were treated as state-mandated sports for nerds and consequently received zero funding. My parents and other family members never once came to see me compete in these (nerdy) sports. My battles against the jocks won me disdain and ostracism from the jocks and fellow travelers and quiet support from other kids like myself.
As an adult, I make no bones about telling people who try to engage me in sports banter that "I don't follow sports." Period. Full stop. We raised our kids to value academic learning over all else in school. I received an Ivy League education at schools where sports were almost an afterthought and the students overwhelmingly focused on academic pursuits. And I entered a career that is both prestigious and highly competitive. Sports did not teach me teamwork nor a competitive spirit to succeed. All of that propaganda we get in school is sheer malarkey.
I remain fit and trim. My wife and I work out and lead healthy lives. All without the "benefit" of being dragooned into team sports when we were younger.
So, on this Stupor Bore Sunday, I'll pass on the chicken wings and beer and bellowing over some supersized, over paid future semi-invalids battling over a pig skin ball on expensive artificial turf over... what??
