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Letters 2018



17 June 2018

Subject: World Cup 2018

I absolutely despise this reprehensible, moronic football tournament. As I am currently writing this, my family is gawking at yet another repugnant game, this one apparently being Germany Vs. Mexico. I truly cannot fathom, nor would I ever be able to in a trillion years, why there is any appeal to something as trivial and intellectually obsolete as professional sports. One of the members of my aforementioned family is screaming at the game as if it's actually of any value. It's rather amusing that they attempted to get me to watch the tedium they appear to be so obsessed with. However I, quite literally, could not bear a mere minute of the obscenely dull scene before me. In response, those around me reacted boorishly to my evident lack of interest. As we all dreadfully know, the obstinate nature and stubbornness of professional sports is one that may very well never die out. It's a shame, really.

Keep your head up, Luke






3 June 2018

Subject: World Cup

I am hoping the current excellent weather holds out in England so I can avoid this month of tedium and the fanatical fans who sit in their Chinese made England football shirts, cheering on a bunch of no marks kicking a bag of wind about, and then going into a state of despair when the national team crashes out early on. It's a huge source of relief to non fans when England don't qualify for the next round of the World Bore as a lot of the interest goes and people questioning your patriotism for not watching "our lads" tend to lay off. Of course, even if they got to the semi-finals, as happened 28 years ago, I'd go on a long walk. or take a long drive to escape.

Keep up the fight
Glenn/ AN Englishman.






29 May 2018

Subject: Wish "The Game" would finally end

Hello,

It's wonderful to know there are at least a few others who are not obsessed with professional sports. This is the third night in a row that I've been unable to escape professional sports. We've had out of town guests visiting who had to watch "the game". The mindless talk about what they should do, how they're playing, or "great shot" leaves me annoyed and bored stupid. It's really hard not to scream. And apparently, "their team" isn't even in these games - just watching the "finals" of something. They call it the finals but they say there are more games, so it doesn't seem to actually be final (unfortunately). While our guests and my husband watch "the game" I watch the game clock, cheering every second the clock ticks down.

I just can't stand it. I mean why should I want to watch some guys play a game? And I definitely don't want to pay them to play, or pay taxes to pay for the places where they play.

It's just so unbelievably boring. I spent many happy hours as a child playing baseball, tag and other games with the neighborhood kids. I was a kid, I was athletic and it was great fun. But seriously, it was just play. I loved playing jacks, hopscotch, and board games too. But I don't want to watch professionals play any of these either. Why? Because it would be BORING.

Of course there is nothing boring about participating. My family often plays a yard game or board game together and it's fun. Obviously it would get boring if we played the same game too frequently. So why don't people get bored watching college and professional teams play the same game over and over? TRULY, I DO NOT KNOW. It is just mind numbing. There is nothing interesting, uplifting, or exciting about it. NOTHING.

You could play a tape from a previous game and I'm sure people would not know the difference. And why should they - it is the same thing over and over and over. And yet even educated people watch (again and again and again). And they talk about it - endlessly, and seriously. They talk about recent games, upcoming games, the players, and even coaches in serious tones as though it all really matters. Look, I think about and discuss trivialities too (tv shows, mystery novels, and finding a good coffee cake recipe for example). But I know they are trivial matters and do not act like they are the most important thing happening or impose my trivialities on others.

Fan talk just sounds childish to me. I spent many hours learning to play better. And I spent many hours talking about playing games. WHEN I WAS A CHILD!! But I grew up. I simply cannot take sports any more seriously than peek-a-boo. I know that many, many people far more intelligent than I, are fans. I know that, but I don't get it - and I don't want to.

Thanks for letting me get that off my chest.

Signed, Bored






24 May 2018

Subject: Sport

The BBC is obsessed with sport. Why do I have to pay for this ?

AJ






22 May 2018

Subject: Most sports do suck

I don’t really hate sports that much, it’s just that I don’t care for them. I could never understand what all the hoopla is all about. The sports I really love are fishing and the firing range. To me, those are relaxing and therapeutic.

Football (especially American football), baseball, basketball and the Olympics are downright boring. Watching downhill skiing, sledding, etc. is like watching a rerun every ten minutes.

As I was living at home with my parents, the entire family was watching the Rose Bowl while I was elsewhere, they thought that was rather amusing. I tried watching some games on TV and after about ten minutes, I get bored and go do something else.

I think I went to two or three football games the entire time I was in high school and one basketball game. The fans would go apeshit when the home team makes a good play and moan and groan when a bad play was made. Me? I couldn’t care less.

When I was in the ninth grade, our coach also taught math. During the class each Friday, he’d ask who’s going to the basketball game that night. For the ones who weren’t going, he’d say, “I want you to be there.” At the end of the class, he assumed everyone was going and he’d say, “I’ll see you at the game.” Every Monday, he demanded to know why some of us weren’t there. As the weeks went on like this, I was running out of excuses. Hell! I don’t have to attend any mind numbing games.

Don E.






17 May 2018

Subject: Basketball anyone? No.

As I was in high school, I’ve always been tall and lanky. People always assumed I played basketball or ought to. My father introduced me to some of his friends and the wife asked me, “Oh do you play basketball?”

Me: “(Sigh) No, ma’am, I don’t.”


I was driving home from school, and was pulled over by a state trooper for running a stop sign.

As he was writing out the ticket, he asked, “You on the basketball team?”

Me: “(Sigh) No I’m not”

Just because the way I was built, I was “supposed to play basketball”. That irritated me to no end.


When I was in the military, us guys were standing around and a staff NCO came up to us and asked us one at a time, “How tall are you?” The ones who were tall enough for his liking, he told them to “Stand over here.” He asked me my height. I said “6’-2”.” We didn’t know what this was about.

“We need some players for the battalion basketball team.”

Of course, I said, that I wasn’t interested.

“Why not?”

“I don’t play that well.”

“We’ll train you.”

He was practically ordering me to join the team. I still said I’m not interested. I finally won the debate. Basketball is my LEAST favorite activity. In fact, I hate the sport with a passion.

D






17 May 2018

Subject: Football Fanatics

Good evening from England on a fine sunny night.

Yesterday the England football team announced the 23 players it was sending to play in the World Bore in Russia this summer. I worked out that this tedious topic of conversation, along with a final of some tedious tournament in Spain or wherever, took up 99 per cent of the conversation in the bar last night. Apart from hi, how you doing, or I'm going to the toilet, I heard four men's entire conversation made up of football talk. It made me so bored and when the two teams took the pitch for some European final, I said " this is like a lobotomy clinic" and walked out.

Honestly, football( soccer) breeds the sort of fanatics that wouldn't be out of place in Islamic State, and no doubt while the World Bore is on this summer, they'll be seeking out infidels to harass for their non interest. My advice, as well during what could be a fractious FA Cup final between two teams who hate each other on Saturday, is to avoid any pub that is showing the FA Cup, the World Cup and Champions League final and take your money elsewhere.

Also should the weather really warm up, do what I do and what most of these so called fans never do, indulge in a power walk, running, cycling or walking the dog. Since I've discovered the joys of long power walks, sometimes with my sister's dog, the weight is coming off. Meanwhile, the bar room football fans with their huge stomachs, will be sitting in a stupor in front of their braindead game.

AN ENGLISHMAN/ GLENN A






21 April 2018

Subject: I love your webpage. I don't hate sports but I agree with you that I don't like the mass hysteria

I love your webpage and am so glad that I found it. I'm so glad that there are people out like there who think like me. I don't hate sports since I'm not a hateful person for my happiness and health but I agree with you that I definitely don't like or appreciate the mass hysteria. It's like a cult. The professional athletes are the deities in this mass religion. It's like North Korea except you generally don't get shot. (There is often violence though by fans of the other team if they are sitting next to you.)

I personally don't watch sports but I don't mind playing it with my family. I just don't like the crazy psychopathic obsessive nature of it. I especially refuse to hang out with crazy strangers who are drinking alcohol while they are going crazy over a team.

I understand that watching sports involves a complex amount of strategy, but the overall goal is anything but profound. The "noble" goal is to move a ball or puck over a line into or across a goal. I would be much more interested in watching an inspirational show about a child suffering from terminal illness providing positive inspiration and joy to fellow children suffering from the same fate. I would write a book (which is what I do for fun) that is inspirational, like teaching blind people braille or deaf people how to read lips, or helping the poor. You know, something valuable that provides a much more joyful and morally profound contribution to society as a whole.

Sports fans are called fanatics for a reason. Fanatics in any other realm of life, such as in politics or religion, are often condemned. Yet, sports fans (fanatics) are often supported. It shows there are so many stupid people. I am not saying that all sports fans are stupid. But, most of them are.

Kevin Park






13 April 2018

Subject: Right on, Neil deGrasse Tyson !

Today, people got their panties in a bunch because scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson said: "In my day, the word "Awesome" was reserved for things like curing Polio and walking on the Moon, not for food or TV shows".

Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet about Awesome

What's wrong with that? He is 100% correct. Science is awesome. Football and other distractions are not. Tell it like it is, Mr Tyson!

Don






12 April 2018

Subject: We're Winning!

I've been hearing from time to time that football attendance is declining here in Tampa. I don't know why. Maybe it's because the Tampa Buccaneers appointed themselves the self-proclaimed moral authority and demanded the city council remove a confederate memorial from downtown Tampa.

Whatever the reason, you know it's true when they have to resort to mailing invitations to the game to everyone in town -even me, who would not attend a mongoloid convention if you paid me!


Tampa Buccaneers Mailer

I hope they can find a good use for the stadium after the team folds!


Tampa Dan!






4 April 2018

Subject: Karma is a Bitch

We all know that high school jocks enjoy bullying and making life miserable for defenseless children. Here's a video of one of them getting his just desserts although it's 30 years later:



Former Jock, Now a School Superintendent, Exposed as Vicious Bully


Don






19 March 2018

Subject: Boycotting the 2018 World Cup

Good morning, my fellow sports haters.

From the vile attempted murder of Sergei Skripal and his daughter, by a foreign power on British soil, the one positive thing that has emerged is the possibility of the England f**tball team boycotting this summer's world cup. This would greatly reduce the amount of coverage of the dreary, endless nonevent for those of us who are already sick of it, and it's still three months away.

But will they actually do it? Will anyone really have the backbone to make that decision? It's already been decided that no British bigwigs will go, but the FA has been silent. Well, we all know that they do want the team to go; there's too much media money already tied up in the asinine hoopla for them to pull out. I'm sure that advertisers, corporate sponsors and TV networks have been elbowing each other out of the way to invest in the silly spectacle. I wouldn't be surprised if they have lawsuits already drawn up and lawyers champing at the bit to serve them to the FA if it does say "No, we don't wanna play in your yard."

Germany has already announced, in an uncharacteristic show of appalling namby-pambiness, that its team will go.

So the FA has had frantic meetings, since the attempted murder, and no doubt decided to wait a few weeks for all the indignation to die down. Then it'll make some lame announcement or other about how political matters, however reprehensible, ought not to tarnish an international bond of sportsmanship, blah blah, drivel drivel. So then we'll have to endure the rabid world cup coverage and propaganda thrust at us by the media all summer long.

If my desire for a boycott seems to be rooted in my personal preference for a f**tball-free summer, rather than for any highfalutin reasons, that's because it is - well, mostly. If the team goes to Russia, then Putin will have got away with his disgusting act with no more than a slapped wrist and the UK government's waggy finger ("Now-now, Vladimir, don't do it again, there's a bad boy"), and the git will smirk at us in that slinking little weasel way of his.

Perhaps a self-righteous boycott of the silly contest really wouldn't matter a frog's fart, internationally, (except to thousands of fans who would stamp their little feet and cry), and Putin couldn't give a monkey's, so the team may as well go as not go. But Britain will look weak and its more discerning TV viewers will have f**tball f**tball f**tball waved in their faces from every news programme and web site.

So, yes, it'll be business as usual: corporate porkers will snigger behind their hands and line each other's pockets, brainless sports fans will fidget, goggle-eyed, in front of their televisions at one childish, instantly forgettable game after another, and the people who ought to have had the courage of their convictions and stood up to say no will sidle away, mumbling.

Football fans and politicians? Lower than vermin.

Stephen






18 March 2018

Subject: I hate sports letter

Why does every show I like have to be pre-empted for some stupid jock game?! Was 380 channels not enough for them?! Why do they have to invade other channels they have no affiliations with? I've been watching Stephen Colbert's monologue to keep up with our politics and see how close we are to a nuclear war that will kill us all, but apparently, that's less important than some ape throwing a giant testicle somewhat farther than another ape -_-

Fuck sports, and fuck their idiot followers.

King Thomas






11 March 2018

Subject: Wearing Your Boyfriend's Shirt

Why do guys wear sports jerseys with a player's name on the back? First of all, you have NO tangible ties to the sports team that’s on your jersey/shirt. You’re basically providing free advertising and buying into the hysteria and fanaticism. Secondly, wearing a shirt with another man’s name branded on you is extremely emasculating. You’re basically worshiping men who are doing exceptional things while you’re sitting on the sidelines cheering them on.

wearing your boyfriend's shirt
wearing your boyfriend's big shirt

Sergio






8 Feb 2018

Subject: Collusion Exposed in Tampa!

I'm not sure if I've written about this before but here in Tampa/St Pete, there is an on-going discussion about moving the Tampa Bay Rays stadium from St Pete to Tampa. For those who are not from around here, let me clear up a couple of things: the Tampa Bay Rays is a baseball team and their beautiful, air-conditioned stadium is located right in the middle of downtown St Pete. So I don't know why they're called the Tampa Bay Rays.

Next, for the last several years, there has been an "issue" pushed into the news repeatedly by various unnamed sources -that describes the need for a new baseball stadium in St Pete. These various sources think that the reason attendance at the stadium is so low is because the stadium is old. The stadium is NOT old. It's only 10 years old and very spacious with comfortable seats and air conditioning (which is very important down here in South Florida). The quality of the stadium is not the reason for low attendance. I won't hazard to guess the real reason but I will state that the condition of the stadium is not one of them.

So that issue has been simmering on the back burner for some time, stymied by a lack of public support. Now, recently this attempt to siphon off the tax payers' money has turned in a new direction. Now, the argument, again frequently pushed into the news by unknown sources, is that attendance at the Tampa Bay Rays games would increase if the stadium was "moved" to Tampa. Of course, a stadium cannot be moved and what this actually means is that since they are unable to open St Pete's pocketbook, they are now trying to pry open Tampa's. Because "moving" a stadium means building a brand new stadium in Tampa -at whose expense? Why, the tax payers' of course!

And will that solve the attendance problem? That's a trick question because (1) there never was an attendance problem and (2) the contractors and developers who stand to make MILLIONS don't CARE if attendance improves, stays the same, or declines. The real goal of this movement is to make money.

And that brings us to the most recent development: our own county commissioners have been taking money from the developers to lobby for the stadium "move" and not only that, they have been paying an average of $24,000 a month of tax money to LAWYERS to get them to sway public opinion. That is OUTRAGEOUS and IRRESPONSIBLE behavior!

http://shadowofthestadium.blogspot.com

http://www.wtsp.com/article/news/investigations/hagan


Tampa Dan






5 Feb 2018

Subject: What else? The Stupid Bore.

So yesterday was Halloween again. From what the news tells me, two teams of oversized, overpaid, barbarian gladiators in garish body armour clashed for the 52nd time for whatever reason they clash, and one side or the other "won". Wasn't dead sure who was playing and didn't care. Just marked time reading the funnies until dinner.

We made a significant change this year. Rather than watching a movie and ignoring the "big game" over Mexican takeout, we ignored it over Vietnamese takeout instead. For anyone who has never tried one, Vietnamese barbeque pork sandwiches are highly commendable. My choice of movie (The Giant Gila Monster) was overruled by the women, so I spent my time watching the 1995 production of "Pride and Prejudice". Not NEARLY as much fun, but I was outnumbered, and the alternative not to even be considered. Perhaps next year I can at least convince them to consider "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". I can only hope.

I've been avoiding non family today in order avoid having feverish, hollow eyed drones attempt to engage me in discussions of yesterday's non event. If past years are any example, it'll probably be a couple more days until it's safe. It always upsets them so when they find out you ignored the whole trivial mess.

There's only one cloud on the horizon. A local consortium of sports pervs is agitating to build a (fortunately small) stadium, at taxpayer expense, of course. They're telling the usual lies about how it'll benefit the local economy, and I sadly fear that our empty headed city council may fall for it. The proposed facility will replace a perfectly good one which was built with private money, will only accommodate 2-5% of the populace, will (like the current one) probably never be used to capacity, and will put those dumb enough to buy the bonds AND the city, on the hook for 30 million dollars. Those of us who loathe sports, and those whose businesses will be disrupted and damaged are less than convinced. Your prayers and hopes for avoiding this disaster are solicited, and may all of you enjoy a sports free year.

Frank Enstein






11 Jan 2018

Subject: Welcome to 2018 Yo!

2018 promises to be a good year, a turn-around year for sports haters!

Congress has introduced a bill that will make it illegal to use Federal tax dollars to build sports stadiums and judging by the enthusiastic response from all corners, it's passing is merely a formality:

https://www.congress.gov/bill/115th-congress/senate-bill/1342

AND, here in Florida, our own legislature has introduced a bill that will prevent our taxes from being spent on any type of sports forum!

http://floridapolitics.com/archives/245584-senate-bill-curb-stadium-projects

So stadiums are being legislated out of existance (because the team owners won't use THEIR money to finance new stadiums) and the new trend is bonfires of sports memorabilia! 2018 is OUR YEAR! SUCK IT, FOOTBALL!

Tampa Dan