Back to Letters Page

International I Hate Sports Club Logo

Letters 2018

13 April 2018

Subject: Right on, Neil deGrasse Tyson !

Today, people got their panties in a bunch because scientist Neil deGrasse Tyson said: "In my day, the word "Awesome" was reserved for things like curing Polio and walking on the Moon, not for food or TV shows".

Neil deGrasse Tyson tweet about Awesome

What's wrong with that? He is 100% correct. Science is awesome. Football and other distractions are not. Tell it like it is, Mr Tyson!


12 April 2018

Subject: We're Winning!

I've been hearing from time to time that football attendance is declining here in Tampa. I don't know why. Maybe it's because the Tampa Buccaneers appointed themselves the self-proclaimed moral authority and demanded the city council remove a confederate memorial from downtown Tampa.

Whatever the reason, you know it's true when they have to resort to mailing invitations to the game to everyone in town -even me, who would not attend a mongoloid convention if you paid me!

Tampa Buccaneers Mailer

I hope they can find a good use for the stadium after the team folds!

Tampa Dan!

4 April 2018

Subject: Karma is a Bitch

We all know that high school jocks enjoy bullying and making life miserable for defenseless children. Here's a video of one of them getting his just desserts although it's 30 years later:

Former Jock, Now a School Superintendent, Exposed as Vicious Bully


19 March 2018

Subject: Boycotting the 2018 World Cup

Good morning, my fellow sports haters.

From the vile attempted murder of Sergei Skripal and his daughter, by a foreign power on British soil, the one positive thing that has emerged is the possibility of the England f**tball team boycotting this summer's world cup. This would greatly reduce the amount of coverage of the dreary, endless nonevent for those of us who are already sick of it, and it's still three months away.

But will they actually do it? Will anyone really have the backbone to make that decision? It's already been decided that no British bigwigs will go, but the FA has been silent. Well, we all know that they do want the team to go; there's too much media money already tied up in the asinine hoopla for them to pull out. I'm sure that advertisers, corporate sponsors and TV networks have been elbowing each other out of the way to invest in the silly spectacle. I wouldn't be surprised if they have lawsuits already drawn up and lawyers champing at the bit to serve them to the FA if it does say "No, we don't wanna play in your yard."

Germany has already announced, in an uncharacteristic show of appalling namby-pambiness, that its team will go.

So the FA has had frantic meetings, since the attempted murder, and no doubt decided to wait a few weeks for all the indignation to die down. Then it'll make some lame announcement or other about how political matters, however reprehensible, ought not to tarnish an international bond of sportsmanship, blah blah, drivel drivel. So then we'll have to endure the rabid world cup coverage and propaganda thrust at us by the media all summer long.

If my desire for a boycott seems to be rooted in my personal preference for a f**tball-free summer, rather than for any highfalutin reasons, that's because it is - well, mostly. If the team goes to Russia, then Putin will have got away with his disgusting act with no more than a slapped wrist and the UK government's waggy finger ("Now-now, Vladimir, don't do it again, there's a bad boy"), and the git will smirk at us in that slinking little weasel way of his.

Perhaps a self-righteous boycott of the silly contest really wouldn't matter a frog's fart, internationally, (except to thousands of fans who would stamp their little feet and cry), and Putin couldn't give a monkey's, so the team may as well go as not go. But Britain will look weak and its more discerning TV viewers will have f**tball f**tball f**tball waved in their faces from every news programme and web site.

So, yes, it'll be business as usual: corporate porkers will snigger behind their hands and line each other's pockets, brainless sports fans will fidget, goggle-eyed, in front of their televisions at one childish, instantly forgettable game after another, and the people who ought to have had the courage of their convictions and stood up to say no will sidle away, mumbling.

Football fans and politicians? Lower than vermin.


18 March 2018

Subject: I hate sports letter

Why does every show I like have to be pre-empted for some stupid jock game?! Was 380 channels not enough for them?! Why do they have to invade other channels they have no affiliations with? I've been watching Stephen Colbert's monologue to keep up with our politics and see how close we are to a nuclear war that will kill us all, but apparently, that's less important than some ape throwing a giant testicle somewhat farther than another ape -_-

Fuck sports, and fuck their idiot followers.

King Thomas

11 March 2018

Subject: Wearing Your Boyfriend's Shirt

Why do guys wear sports jerseys with a player's name on the back? First of all, you have NO tangible ties to the sports team thatís on your jersey/shirt. Youíre basically providing free advertising and buying into the hysteria and fanaticism. Secondly, wearing a shirt with another manís name branded on you is extremely emasculating. Youíre basically worshiping men who are doing exceptional things while youíre sitting on the sidelines cheering them on.

wearing your boyfriend's shirt
wearing your boyfriend's big shirt


8 Feb 2018

Subject: Collusion Exposed in Tampa!

I'm not sure if I've written about this before but here in Tampa/St Pete, there is an on-going discussion about moving the Tampa Bay Rays stadium from St Pete to Tampa. For those who are not from around here, let me clear up a couple of things: the Tampa Bay Rays is a baseball team and their beautiful, air-conditioned stadium is located right in the middle of downtown St Pete. So I don't know why they're called the Tampa Bay Rays.

Next, for the last several years, there has been an "issue" pushed into the news repeatedly by various unnamed sources -that describes the need for a new baseball stadium in St Pete. These various sources think that the reason attendance at the stadium is so low is because the stadium is old. The stadium is NOT old. It's only 10 years old and very spacious with comfortable seats and air conditioning (which is very important down here in South Florida). The quality of the stadium is not the reason for low attendance. I won't hazard to guess the real reason but I will state that the condition of the stadium is not one of them.

So that issue has been simmering on the back burner for some time, stymied by a lack of public support. Now, recently this attempt to siphon off the tax payers' money has turned in a new direction. Now, the argument, again frequently pushed into the news by unknown sources, is that attendance at the Tampa Bay Rays games would increase if the stadium was "moved" to Tampa. Of course, a stadium cannot be moved and what this actually means is that since they are unable to open St Pete's pocketbook, they are now trying to pry open Tampa's. Because "moving" a stadium means building a brand new stadium in Tampa -at whose expense? Why, the tax payers' of course!

And will that solve the attendance problem? That's a trick question because (1) there never was an attendance problem and (2) the contractors and developers who stand to make MILLIONS don't CARE if attendance improves, stays the same, or declines. The real goal of this movement is to make money.

And that brings us to the most recent development: our own county commissioners have been taking money from the developers to lobby for the stadium "move" and not only that, they have been paying an average of $24,000 a month of tax money to LAWYERS to get them to sway public opinion. That is OUTRAGEOUS and IRRESPONSIBLE behavior!

Tampa Dan

5 Feb 2018

Subject: What else? The Stupid Bore.

So yesterday was Halloween again. From what the news tells me, two teams of oversized, overpaid, barbarian gladiators in garish body armour clashed for the 52nd time for whatever reason they clash, and one side or the other "won". Wasn't dead sure who was playing and didn't care. Just marked time reading the funnies until dinner.

We made a significant change this year. Rather than watching a movie and ignoring the "big game" over Mexican takeout, we ignored it over Vietnamese takeout instead. For anyone who has never tried one, Vietnamese barbeque pork sandwiches are highly commendable. My choice of movie (The Giant Gila Monster) was overruled by the women, so I spent my time watching the 1995 production of "Pride and Prejudice". Not NEARLY as much fun, but I was outnumbered, and the alternative not to even be considered. Perhaps next year I can at least convince them to consider "Pride and Prejudice and Zombies". I can only hope.

I've been avoiding non family today in order avoid having feverish, hollow eyed drones attempt to engage me in discussions of yesterday's non event. If past years are any example, it'll probably be a couple more days until it's safe. It always upsets them so when they find out you ignored the whole trivial mess.

There's only one cloud on the horizon. A local consortium of sports pervs is agitating to build a (fortunately small) stadium, at taxpayer expense, of course. They're telling the usual lies about how it'll benefit the local economy, and I sadly fear that our empty headed city council may fall for it. The proposed facility will replace a perfectly good one which was built with private money, will only accommodate 2-5% of the populace, will (like the current one) probably never be used to capacity, and will put those dumb enough to buy the bonds AND the city, on the hook for 30 million dollars. Those of us who loathe sports, and those whose businesses will be disrupted and damaged are less than convinced. Your prayers and hopes for avoiding this disaster are solicited, and may all of you enjoy a sports free year.

Frank Enstein

11 Jan 2018

Subject: Welcome to 2018 Yo!

2018 promises to be a good year, a turn-around year for sports haters!

Congress has introduced a bill that will make it illegal to use Federal tax dollars to build sports stadiums and judging by the enthusiastic response from all corners, it's passing is merely a formality:

AND, here in Florida, our own legislature has introduced a bill that will prevent our taxes from being spent on any type of sports forum!

So stadiums are being legislated out of existance (because the team owners won't use THEIR money to finance new stadiums) and the new trend is bonfires of sports memorabilia! 2018 is OUR YEAR! SUCK IT, FOOTBALL!

Tampa Dan