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Letters 2017



27 Nov 2017

Subject: How bout dem birds?

Proud ta b an EAGLES Fan!!! E-A-G-L-E-S EAGLES!!!

Dominic Cunta punted da ball 20 inches inta the Enzone. King Negra caught da ball and slammed it over da outfield. Squeaker clinched it and ran wit da ball a coupla feet. Snarkey sneezed disrupting Falsted from da udder team an he tripped an fell. Quagmire flexed a muscle and intimidated Hadeed who was taking a knee for all those mistreated by cops. Snufalufagus ran in circles making the opposing team dizzy and calling for the military medics. Shnozzer radioed for an air force plane to go and fight ISIS.

Football, da greatest fuckin game invented!!!!

- Ted






23 Oct 2017

Subject: Media

How many people get angry when the news media reports that some former jock star has been arrested for some crime and the story always begins “Former college stand out” or “Former all-star” yada yada yada ? It’s as if no matter what this lunkhead is accused of doing (domestic violence, rape, drugs, child abuse, you name it), the news media feels the need to remind the public of his “glory days,” even when those days passed years, or even decades ago.

William






20 Oct 2017

Subject: Youth Soccer

I am 49 years old, When I was 10 in 1978 my parents thought it would be a good idea to sign me up for a city soccer league. Of course I had no say in the matter. So I got put on a team sponsored by a local State Farm insurance company (Mike Movich,I don’t know how to spell it..Never did or cared). I did not give a rats ass about the team and all the bullshit the coach had to say. So I got put in the position as half back (I think that’s what it was called), anyways I was near the goal where no action would really take place. And when it did I would stand there and watch the ball go right into the net. I caught hell during every game from the other kids, parents, and the "reached his peak in high school" coach. I always told them I did not want to be there to begin with so fire me from the team. We always lost thanks to me. Then Jr. High rolled around and of course I was the last to be picked (or not at all) which was fine with me. Well to end the story, I went back to my 10th high school reunion in 1997 standing 6’8” and 230lbs. Nobody wanted to call me names or talk about me at all. I wonder where all of their macho bullshit went to? Did it fall out along with their hair? Late bloomers have the last laugh!

TJV






1 Oct 2017

Subject: Burning Football Jerseys is a thing now!

Look! Look! They're burning football jerseys and paraphernelia all across the country! I haven't been this happy since I lost my virginity!

Keep at it, boys! Keep burning those jerseys! May I suggest burning the stadiums next?

Dan in Tampa!


Burning Pile of football stuff






29 Sep 2017

Subject: Cover up and look away

I have mentioned before that gentlemen do not play sports, but now I want to turn to the sheer vulgarity of leaping about after a ball.

I refer especially to those sp*rts requiring a chap to wear shorts and therefore bare his legs. If feet are ugly objects, and of course they jolly-well are, then can legs be far behind? Whether our undercarriage is of the spindly, knobbly-kneed, Charles Hawtrey variety or they are veritable Doric columns like mine, (“You have r*gby f**tballer’s legs,” my mother used to observe cruelly before I got fed up with it and kicked her arse with one of them), who the heck wants to see them? Men who like to show them off in public are like the base sort who will leave several buttons undone on his shirt so that the rest of the populace can see the foul vegetation on his chest: it is a vulgar display. It’s rather like a person who will wear too much jewellery or who brags about their prowess on a musical instrument, or the sort of oik who converses too loudly on railway station platforms, tempting you to shove them under the 8:15 as it rattles in. Nobody likes a loud person, and legs are loud, as is too much cleavage and so is a braggart.

Anyone who plays a sp*rt that they ought to have outgrown at the age of eight is not only making a large idiot of themselves in front of the easily impressed, but also indulging in a distastefully vulgar display. We do not want to see your hairy legs poking out from a pair of shorts as you lumber about pointlessly after a ball. Of course, if they are ladies’ legs, that’s a different matter entirely, but again, if we are gentlemen whose heads swim at the sight, then we ought not to look. Oh dear me no.

This brings me to the conclusion that many ladies are unladylike to the point of vulgarity. Follow me, if you will: (1) Men showing their legs in public is indecent. (2) Many women like to see men’s legs. (3) Therefore many ladies are vulgar. Madam, avert your eyes. Think of loftier things. Art, music, charitable work, monster truck rallies – but not politics, which dip beyond vulgarity to degradation.

I shall only mention in passing the low vulgarity of sp*rts fans who enjoy watching chaps in shorts who chase balls. Doing it is asinine enough, but actively watching and enjoying it? Per-lease.

My conclusion is that, as sensible, tasteful disdainers of sp*rts, it’s not enough for us to think enthusiasts a bit daft or even rude. It is up to us to set a higher standard by curling the lip, making little spluttering sounds or even turning away, handkerchief to mouth and hissing “Disgusting,” when dad sits in front of the TV to watch ball-chasing cretins displaying too much of themselves.

Stand up for common decency. Look down your nose at such grubby behaviour. Live better, think better, be better.

Stephen






24 Sep 2017

Subject: Politics in Football

Once again, sports are being used to push a political agenda. It started with one football player refusing to stand during the National Anthem because he doesn't think life in general is going his way. Then a few other football players on a smattering of teams started doing the same thing: refusing to stand for the National Anthem. They claim they have a right to express their views and the team owners are apparently allowing them to do it.

Most people don't like it and the President finally came out and said that fans should boycott the games until the players start acting like civilized people again. And now, in response, it appears that almost all football players are refusing to stand for the National Anthem in order to show President Trump what's what.

I, for one, support our President and his boycott of football! Boycott Football!!

Dan in Tampa






6 August 2017

Subject: More Football Madness

If you think American football is bad for this, bear in mind the European variety (soccer) has become even more obscene in its pursuit of money. Patrick Neymar, who is not even in the Top Five players in the world, has been sold from Barcelona to a team in Paris for £ 198 million and will be paid £ 40 million a year to kick a piece of plastic around. Also one of his contemporaries, Christiano Ronaldo, a noted cheat and thug on the football pitch, has been arrested for hiding £ 13 million in taxes from the Spanish government. How very nice of him when Spain has one of the worst unemployment rates in Europe and has just been through a very painful period of austerity and recession.

Meanwhile the sheeple will be delighted as the football season has started again, although one character caused a stir on a radio show yesterday when he said he wished the game would take 50 years off and the presenter was completely speechless. Apparently openly criticising football isn't the done thing, although millions secretly loathe this game but just aren't brave enough to speak out.

GLENN/AN ENGLISHMAN.






31 July 2017

Subject: The Anti-Sports League

That was very well said, Stephen. I also prefer to be an individual. And non-confrontational. These remind me of a kid I know who wears black t-shirts with the words, F*CK YOU, printed in giant white block letters on the front. I always wanted to punch him in the face whenever he wore that shirt.

And I think you are right when you suggest this is just a commercial venture. When I read "Anti-Sports League" I mistakenly thought it was the same Australian anti-sports club that has been around for 20 years or so. But when I googled "anti-sports league", the first 3 or 4 results were professional news outlet-type sites that professionals use to publish press releases to advertise their product and build links to their latest project. So this is definitely a commercial venture and probably sponsored by a psychotic sports fan!

The site I was thinking of is actually named the anti-FOOTBALL league. Thanks for the information, sir.

Ray






31 July 2017

Subject: The Anti-Sports League

Hello, my fellow sports loathers.

I have just come across this web site: http://www.digitalartsonline.co.uk/news/graphic-design/show-off-your-lack-of-athletic-zeal-with-anti-sports-league/#1

It features the clothing line of a “league” conjured up by a chap named Glen Liberman, whose designs you can buy in order to show people that you’re uninterested in sports. Apparently, “the Anti-Sports League gives those who do not participate in sports culture an opportunity to join a league of their own.”

Now, like most of you, I agree with almost anyone or anything that stands against the boorish tyranny of sports fans and media, but unlike some of you, I hesitate to shell out twenty five quid for a t-shirt that’s either confrontational (“YOU PEAKED IN HIGH SCHOOL”) or is a meaningless logo. The designs on the sportssuck web site are better, for heaven’s sake.

I may be reading too much into this particular “league,” but I think that we need to be careful about whom or what we align ourselves with. Perhaps this is merely a moneymaking venture for this Liberman fellow, so we can wave a slogan in people’s faces to show that we are not sports morons, but personally, it makes my skin crawl. Why? Well, am I the only one for whom the word “league” conjures up visions of marching, placard-waving bullies? And then there’s the notion of a soccer league. So I don’t think it’s the right word.

Also, it’s not a league of my own, is it. It’s someone else’s, and who among us, having been through the drudgery at school of being roped into someone’s team, wants to join another? School sports teams sucked, and workplace teams suck, too (lordy pants, it’s all about conforming to someone else’s idea of a “goal,” a “mission,” and other such gung-ho bullsh*t, when all you care about is going home to check that your wage has gone into your bank account). If you are a part of this, or any other, “league,” you are conforming with their image, their goals and their possibly very dodgy mindset.

Also, though I’d never wear a t-shirt with a sports team on it, that would not be as offensive as telling someone NEVER A GOOD SPORT with one of these. This shirt makes you worse than some harmless nitwit in a Man Utd t-shirt. It’s perfectly splendid to stand up and say “No, I don’t like sports” when a boor demands of you “Did you watch the match on Saturday?” It’s not all right to step up with something confrontational across your chest. You’re the boor then, aren’t you.

Perhaps it’s because life has taught me to be an individualist and a nonconformist, but I personally don’t feel the need to join someone else’s club or society and wear a shirt, hat, scarf or tattoo that instantly labels me, or wave a flag or go to a rally. If someone yaps sports at me, I am articulate enough, thank you, to be able to say that I don’t want to discuss it, because I dislike sports. If this person is perfectly affable, why be rotten to them by getting in their face with a t-shirt?

I just find this “league” a bit sinister. I don’t know if any of you consider activists as much of a pain as I do, but who wants someone getting in their face with a political agenda, behind which there may be something worse? That’s what I’d be doing in one of these t-shirts.

So, no, I didn’t want to be on any of the silly teams on games afternoons at school, I couldn’t have cared less about being on a team in the pointless workplace and I certainly won’t be joining someone’s anti-sports group and donning their t-shirts, waving their placards and wearing their jackboots.

Stephen






20 July 2017

Subject: Who Cares What the Tampa Bay Buccaneers Think?

Confederate Memorial in front of Hillsborough County Florida courthouseGood afternoon fellow sports-haters.

Here is another reason to hate the spectre of sports. Here in Tampa, there has been some controversy over the last month or so about a confederate statue that has stood in front of the old city hall for over 100 years. A member of the city council who was offended by its presence asked to have it removed. But many people wanted it to stay where it was and ultimately, after much debate, the city council narrowly defeated the motion to remove the statue.

The matter should have ended right there but it didn't.

The local professional football team, the Tampa Buccaneers, went on record saying that "We support the removal of the Confederate memorial."

The local professional baseball team, the Tampa Rays, also went on record with the local paper: "We understand and believe that these decisions belong in the hands of elected officials. At the same time, we are supportive of its removal from the courthouse."

These statements encouraged the fringe who renewed their demands that the statue be removed and consequently, the same disgruntled member of the city council asked for another vote on the previously closed issue. This time, the motion passed and the statue is scheduled to be removed as soon as possible.

My question is why are sports team owners getting involved with local politics? Why should their opinion matter? Why should their preferences influence our actions in any way?

I am not really a sports fan but I used to go to the Rays stadium once in a while to drink beer during games but I will never set foot in either venue again.


Dan in Tampa






24 June 2017

Subject: Hero of the Nation!!!

In my country & almosy every countries the National Heroes r the SOCCER PLAYERS!!! the CRICKET PLAYERS!!! who kicks a litte ball in the NET!!! Who strikes a litte ball with a WOOD!!! He becames the hero of the NATION!!! While other people r dying in dear land Syria, Palestine...I not only me most pf the general muslims put sports way down the priorities list...We please Allah (SWT) by worshipping...We want to gain PEACE not GOLD METALS!!!!!






18 June 2017

Subject: Sports have become even more obscene

In London last week, 60 people were killed when a tower block was destroyed in a fire and hundreds have been made homeless. Meanwhile Sky Sports has decided to offer two men, one a boxer and the other a UFC champion( a completely mismatched fight, the same as putting a boxer against a karate black belt), £ 500 million for a fight that will last a couple of minutes. It beggars belief that so much can be spent by a broadcaster on something as trivial and pointless as this when London has just had such a massive disaster to add to the two terrorist attacks it's suffered recently. Surely a greedy, amoral and tax avoiding organisation as Sky/ News International could give this money to generally very poor people who have lost everything, but instead choose to waste it on some so called sporting masterpiece.

Also tonight, wanting a quiet drink in a very hot spell of weather over here, was assailed by yet another football tournament on the television created by the evil empire of Sky Sports. Needing to lose weight as well, I've decided, except on weekend nights when televised sports are quite rare in Britain, to stop indirectly funding organisations like Sky Sports, BT Sport( who have hiked my phone and internet bill to pay for football tournaments) and ITV Sport, who inflict their mind numbing football, rugby, cricket and darts tournaments on people who aren't interested because apparently it's popular in bars over here. Interestingly and ironically, pubs are closing at a rapid rate in Britain and it's interesting when you walk past a closed one, you often see a rusty sign saying SKY SPORTS SHOWN HERE.

AN ENGLISHMAN/ GLENN.






15 May 2017

Subject: Re: Sports

Hi. I'm contacting you again, and this is what I realize years from now being more at peace. I am away from people with that sports mentality, but I realized you must always strive to be your best. If you can still achieve doing the absolute best you can and inside you are comfortable with being in 2nd or 3rd place out of 50, that's good too. I never really was comfortable with being number one. I guess I'd be alright but its whatever. You can be into sports, but you must be a good person. People who scream at their players below in the games, I just do not get that. That's not being "there" for your team! That's being selfish! Its like a baby who cannot get a toy because he's on punishment, and he throws something at you. I know many sports fans that I like, but looking at other sports fans from afar, to me its just ridiculous.

As far as athletic activity though, I think its good, but I think I would prefer a gym to go at everyday where they have those running machines and such, rather than sports. Sports is good for the mind I heard, but I don't know if its a must. Its for fun, but be a mature team player.

Also, sports in high school, I think everybody is grouped together, and everybody is going through their teenage years so everybody has to be caught in someone's crap they pull and in their fog (which goes away at 22 or something where they can see everything). And I understood kids are learning how to deal with things by being in that kind of environment, but I don't know, at the same time, I feel its way too harsh. They have to deal with a weird system where a jock puts you down just because of odd differences, because he is unbelievably insecure himself.

PE in general is good in high school, but everyone is so insecure, that when they make their own little groups, they use that to pick on others. High school is a weird prison system. The education is very much necessary, but it has an odd con. So sports and good students get tied up into the crap and they become cliques and terms people use.

Also, if there are people who do not like sports because of high school, I have something I noticed and thought out. I remember I was told at that point in life, most girls STILL do not know what they want, so its best not to take them seriously when it comes to love. They have to grow up a little more. I'm also thinking that they are stuck in that high school clique system and are so paranoid about the social system. Some may want an actual football playing kid in their school, but I was told a lot do not.

But yes. I have never really been into sports. I don't really understand it. I also do think the NFL in general is getting way more money than they deserve. On that subject, I look at the heads and the people running it, not the players because I think those huge players are just getting a portion of the money. I think most of the money is gotten from television viewers, and people that pay the tickets.

Carlos






27 April 2017

Subject: We Are Winning!

What's this I hear? ESPN is laying off 100 employees? What can that mean? It's obvious that fewer and fewer people are interested in sports and because of that, monetary support for sports programming is shrinking! Step one has been accomplished. Interest in sports is dwindling and will continue until it is no longer broadcast free. Now our goal should be to eliminate sports as a category of news!

Kris






27 March 2017

Subject: Biggest Asshole

Only through experience can you reach conclusions about things. For example, after listening to different kinds of music and many different bands, you select your favorites. Indulging in a varied diet, you have your favorite main dishes and desserts. Well, having had my fill of sports "heroes" being shoved in my face when, in fact, that world is full of assholes, there is one thug whose atrocities I will not forget but the world has forgiven, and I think he's the worst of the bunch.

And that award goes to Michael Vick.

If you know of worse hooligans, please enlighten me.

- Ted






22 March 2017

Subject: Mandatory gym class

I'm glad I found a website so I can let out my hatred of sports. I find the whole mandatory thing dumb. It's hard when you get made fun of when you don't like sports like everyone else. When I tell people I hate sports they look at me like I'm an alien. I hope we can get rid of mandatory gym instead of spending our tax dollars on Gym class.

-A concerned person






13 March 2017

Subject: Wow, I thought I was the only one...

I hate that sports are dominant in schools.

There's always those kids who blurt out in class: "HEY MR. -------- DID U CEE DA GAME LAST NIGHT? ARE U COMMING TO MY FOOTBALL TRYOUTS???? I HOPE I MAKE VARSITY." The sad reality is that those kids have 4.0s and are automatically put in honors classes. They are disrespectful, in my opinion, to teachers. They blurt out and make a big fuss if they get a grade they didn't deserve. They are not humble people and make a fuss if they only got a $1000 and a Beats pill for christmas and birthdays. A few days ago, my spanish teacher (who is a very friendly and funny teacher) , jokingly shot a nerf bullet at a sleeping football student for laughs. He woke up and thought it would be funny while he is turning back to hit him with his heavy backpack. He did it and the teacher and the class laughed. The teacher LIKED that student because they had the same personalities. (SPORTS) If my teacher caught me sleeping and hit me with a nerf bullet and decided to hit him with a backpack, he would probably hate me!

Then there is colleges. I know a lot about colleges and the one thing I HATE is when I type in a college's name, the first thing that would come up is the sports team. This is why I'm going to a liberal arts college :) Also, PE in school should not be necessary. At my school, we are required to do 2 years of PE or we can't graduate. The funny thing is that our school has a HUGE football stadium but we don't have a proper cafeteria or classrooms. Most of our classrooms are portables right next to the huge football field. Also, the sports section of our school is twice as big as the educational part of our school.

Thanks to whoever created the website! I FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE WHO AGREES WITH ME !!!!!!!!!!!!! :)

Aye






7 Feb 2017

Subject: Sports should not be a priority in schools

I'm so happy I found you guys. I love reading your articles. Anyway, I've got to tell you about something that really triggered my loathe towards prioritized sports in school. So, after figuring out that I suffer from depression recently after my mom's death in a car accident, I needed to visit my high school counselor to see if he could arrange for me to meet with a free therapist that visits the school. But, to my disappointment, he was not there because he was to busy hanging out with the basketball team that he coached. Now, if it was after school hours, then I wouldn't mind as much, but being gone away from his actual job?? That's B.S.! Honestly, if I was his boss, I would threaten to fire him. Also, in my choir class, sports has decreased attendance in our school, I'm one of two basses in my class, and this jock that's just in there for the credit leaves whenever he wants to play basketball? Is that not a douchebag move? Our extreme promotion of sports in our school has everything to do with this. The athletes that are spoiled, teachers sluffing for games, P.E. based upon throwing out nonathletic people. I say we fight our school districts on this, this has gone way too far! And I'm willing to support you guys. Please, if your school district is wasting taxpayer dollars and encouraging dishonestly in your schools, fight them. We need to return to better values and our school districts should be a place where we can do that, not replace education with mind numbing sports.

Sincerely, Caleb, a person who hates wasted taxpayer dollars






17 Jan 2017

Subject: Why

People enjoy turning off and giving their power away. Sports commentary infuriates me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

-M






7 Jan 2017

Subject: Bully boy games teachers

Hi

I can recall my miserable experience at the hands of two failed sportsmen and failed teachers who taught games at my school in the early 80s who made mine and other non athletic pupils lives hell. Being optimistic, I thought these sadists since Britain ended corporal punishment in the mid eighties and schools became more tolerant of kids who were useless at physical education, had loosened up. Apparently not, my nephew is 13, useless at games and sees it as a waste of his time, so has become the centre of attention for another failed sportsman who teaches games. Last month, he had diarrhoea and a chest infection, which would normally exclude him from games, but he was forced to do a cross country run with these ailments in terrible weather and decided to run away from school as he was passing out from ill health.

It is no wonder many kids in British schools detest compulsory physical education when there are idiots like this around. I should hope when my nephew leaves school, and he is growing to be quite tall, he encounters the games teacher in the street and reminds him of what he did. Usually these bullies tend to be cowards- I can recall a games teacher from my school who boasted he would have any ex pupil in a fight after school and when challenged one day by a school leaver, he ran off- and I relish the day my nephew puts him in his place or on his back if he continues his sadistic behaviour.

GLENN/AN ENGLISHMAN.







4 Jan 2017

Subject: Different home, same standards

Good morning, my fellow sterling sports loathers.

I have recently moved lock, stock and barrel-bellied from California back to the land of my birth, and am appalled to have to shell out the readies for a licence to watch my television. So I think to myself, then let me watch only those programmes worth shelling out for. I think you know where I am heading with this, my little canny lads and lasses.

That's right, there will be a total ban on watching sp*rts on this here goggle box. Not difficult, I admit, seeing as I live alone. Does a gentleman of discernment want his living room besmirched with the sight of a gaggle of gits chasing a ball? He jolly-well does not. Does he want to invite chaps over on a Sunday afternoon and sit aghast while they get glassy-eyed in front of some yawn-inducing cricket match? I should say not. He has his standards. He will invite a toothsome young lady to come and wrap herself around him on the sofa and leave him comatose with kiss marks all over his face. He will invite upstanding chaps for a spot of sketching in the back garden, or some fine music-making, or a lively discussion of the merits of young ladies who will wrap themselves around you on the sofa etc etc. We are not grubby great gits who will dribble and slobber in front of a televised r*gby "match."

So, let the FA Cup, the olamepics, and all of that waffle come and go. An Englishman's home is his castle, his den and his refuge from the common drivel that passes for entertainment in this age of vulgarity. Let there be culture, let there be shoot-'em-up films, let there be concert footage of rockin' bands, let there be sinewy ladies who like to wind themselves etc etc.

No matter where we live, we can stand against the onslaught of media sp*rts effluence.

Stephen