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Sports are Stupid

Sports are stupid. People who like sports are stupid. So you kicked a ball into a net, or hit a ball several hundred yards with a piece of wood, or threw a ball in a hoop or, more than likely, you just sat on your fat ass and watched someone else do it on T.V. SO WHAT?! BIG FUCKING DEAL! What does that matter? What does that change? You've scored a point for your team. Who cares?

What's the goddamn point? It allows people who work too many hours for too little pay a sense of VICTORY that they cannot achieve in their own lives. You know what I mean: stuck with a big fucking mortgage, kids to feed, car payments, electricity bills, taxes, water bills, gas bills, telephone bills, more taxes, health insurance premiums, home insurance premiums, your kids' college fund, even more taxes, etc. To do all of this you need to KISS YOUR BOSS'S FAT FUCKING ASS, keep your head down, do as little work as you can get away with and keep that paycheck coming in. Now comes Saturday. Ahhhhh - freedom. The weekend. So sit in your big chair, open a can, drink deeply. Ahhhhh. Sedate. Turn on the T.V. Watch millionaires kick balls in nets, hit balls with sticks, throw balls in nets etc. Your team wins! HOORAY!!


You feel validated. It's all been worth it. All that sweat, all that shutting the fuck up, all that time with your tongue firmly lodged in your boss's ass...this is validation. It's not like music...good lyrics might make you think. You don't want that. It's not like films..a good film might make you think. It's not like gave that up a while ago for RESPONSIBILITY...and you don't want to think about that. If you ever did. You probably gave up romance for conquest anyway, when you were much younger, and isn't that what sports are all about?

Sport infuses our lives. In American high schools, it becomes a proxy caste system. Remember high school? If you're still there - my condolences - but you'll understand this well. People kicking balls in nets, or hitting balls with wood, or throwing balls in nets are MORE IMPORTANT THAN YOU. Remember pep rallies? When all the people who kicked balls in nets etc. stood up in front of the ENTIRE SCHOOL and became, not merely mortals, but the GODS of all they survey. Remember the student council? Who was there? Sports heroes...every one. Not those nerdy assholes who read books, or those queers in drama, or those anonymous nobodies who scuttle through the halls keeping their head down because you never know when some fucking football hero might make you the butt of his jokes or give you a good pounding, just for the hell of it. Why?

Because the school institution supported them. All student activities, from student council elections to assemblies to homecoming centered around sports.

Why? Sports teach you important lessons about how the REAL WORLD operates: COMPETITION IS KING. Winners get the glory, losers can eat shit. Everything is justified. In American history we beat the Indians and the Mexicans and the British and everyone else who can all EAT SHIT! We're WINNERS...

England is no better. Virtually every male in the whole shitty little island is obsessed by guys in shorts kicking a bit of leather into a net. Everyone has their own team that they "support" (i.e. identify with as their "tribe" - God knows Thatcher stole any other identity possibly available to them), they wear their team's football "kit" (which changes just about every year - marketing y'know?) and beat the shit out of each other on a Friday night. C'mon guys - this is the place where the words "working class" was coined. Stop punching each other - punch your boss instead. Sport conditions us to think in terms of US VS. THEM. THEY wear red shirts, WE wear green shirts - we shall kick the shit out of them. Sound familiar? Sound a bit like WAR perhaps? How the hell else is a government going to convince a young population to fight its' economic incursions into other countries if we don't train them to kick the shit out of the other guy because HE'S DIFFERENT and WE SAY SO. I've not yet been stupid enough to breed, but if I had a kid, I'd rather have him/her/it watch a super-violent horror movie than a sporting match. At least in a film the characters have a reason to be kicking the shit out of the other guy: they're terrorist or they're zombies or they kidnapped the hero's wife etc. - not just because they wear a different uniform.

What sport does, in essence, is act as a surrogate form of masculinity for a castrated working class. It enforces the rule of nature, and capitalism: "Only the strong survive". Sport keeps us blind, stupid, and predatory. We are homo sapiens. Sapiens - as in sapient. We think. We reason. We feel. Those are our virtues. That's what makes us, as a species, special. FUCK SPORTS. Use your brain. Get some REAL heroes. Someone who thought and loved and changed things. The spirit of competition is FUCK THE WEAK GUY. Fuck them, we're smarter. Change the world - don't bother putting a ball through a hoop etc. Think. It's good for you. Let's make a better world above and beyond that of "Only the strong survive".

Don't be sedated. FUCK SPORTS. It's pointless.

Copyright 2000 -R.E. Ayers